Eileen Mary O’Connell

Thinking about the time that I said that I was distantly related to Marie Curie and a guy explained “It’s pronounced Mariah Carey”

Only 29 more Halloweens until I can hand out pennies

Only 30 more Halloweens until I can hand out pennies.

Only 37 more Halloweens until I can hand out pennies.

Calling Superman an immigrant would be like calling Batman an orphan

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: You can now watch free Monty Python on @PlutoTV 🫨 (I heard their Senior Social Media Manager has the most striking blue eyes?)

Just some Couch Potatoes hitting the streets of Hollywood to unite their fellow Couch Potatoes. #PotatoPride

In honor of Nobel Prize Week, please enjoy my favorite tweet of all time

@alexakuenstler Still the highlight of my LIFE. Thanks for sharing!!!

Garth Brooks. *HUNGER GAMES CANNON*

Oops! I accidentally forgot to not clench my jaw for the past 35 years.

MODERATOR: you’ve said Trump could be America’s Hitler JD VANCE: I now see that I was wrong about his painting skills

It’s not lost on me that I’ve only ever had a 401K in Biden/Harris’ America. #VPDebate2024

Maybe the reason the White Sox have been so bad is because the Monstars stole their talent?

JK Rowling now has the entire personality of a Last Of Us 2 subreddit.

Theater majors 🤝Art majors 🤝 History majors 🤝 People who watched Fantasia

The Paris Olympics wasn’t reinacting the Last Supper. It was reinacting the Festival of Dionysus, which PREDATES Christianity. I know this from my education AT a Christian university soooooo NO EXCUSES.

I won a bet.

If JD Vance wants to track my menstrual cycle so badly then why doesn’t he do my laundry?!

Kamala made Kavanaugh cry and I for one am looking forward to what the sequel has in store

(steering the conversation back to dogs since 1989)

COMMANDER BIDEN SHOULD RUN INSTEAD