scamantha likely

Every trans woman you know is fighting a battle you cannot see that you can turn the tides of right now by sending her $40

how i look in the mirror when a girl likes me vs. how i look in the mirror when a girl doesn't text me back for a few days

@poisonjr don't wait weight now

@idiotbraingf more weight???

im the giles corey of having a crush on a girl

everyone in the other group chat is not talking about you.

@Burrow_BB no you gotta (taking a bite of a giant sandwich and not chewing) you gotta say it out loud

@idiotbraingf Girl idk about this one

ageplayers don't use butt plugs they use ass-ifiers

me and the girls are throwing back mimosas and building a tower to heaven. we are sure nothing bad will happen. you should come hang, slime

@Chronoteeth every time there is news about the president i like to use the jesse pinkman "he can't keep getting away with this" gif

@idiotbraingf mushroom messenger bag type tweet

yeah ill move to bluesky. ill write my thoughts on a balloon and set it free. and ill build an ethical alternative to palantir. ill show a squirrel my phone. im a pescatarian. all of my friends use lockerz dot com

sometimes the sexiest thing a girl can do is be normal

@msdoedevil I was never very passionate about anything. OF is great work if you've been just like suicidally depressed for about a decade.

@idiotbraingf ok but this is the reason I never even tried to start an onlyfans. I already monetize all my other passions, whatcha mean I can’t even have sex without getting capitalism involved? fuck that shit

sexting for a living has destroyed sexting for me. now every time somebody starts trying to play with me i feel like i am clocking in for a shift at the caring-about-your-dick factory

whenever i get a hit tweet my doctor temporarily disables electric shock in my floor my that hurts me when i leave bed

sorry about all that stuff i said when i thought you were mad at me for no reason and i was offended so i decided to give you a reason to be mad. are you mad at me?

does any friend group have a slot available for "the one who regards us with open disdain"

when somebody is sleeping in the same room as you, you start making noises you've never made before, knocking over things that didn't even exist when you went to bed.

i try to tweet every couple of hours because one day somebody will see the tweet and go "you deserve love and i'm going to make it happen"

they just invented a new kind of therapy where you just walk in and empty your wallet and by the time you walk out the only thing on your mind is where your money went

hitting a sub so hard i get sent into sandwichspace

to make sure ping pong tables are as flat as regulation, they compare them to my ass . if the table has more curve than my ass, they turn it into a boat and make a new one.