zero dollar man

i miss the idea of istanbul: its liveliness, the chaos that makes me feel alive, the layers of different lives coexisting. i miss my routines, the places i used to frequent, especially beyoğlu. it’s a bittersweet feeling. but i guess it doesn’t really matter.

tbh i don’t miss the people living there that much. i miss my family and my friends sure but not in an unbearable way. what i truly miss is istanbul itself (more as an concept than just a place).

@ricciasuccess ilk sana okuturummmm

@ima0dollarman Oui oui fais le

pile de livres parfaite:

@rohmersummer hoff personal biricik stilistim olur musun beni giydirrrr

nisan

@fidancastro25 aşk NAZAR'DIR.

i swear i really enjoy being alive but sometimes i get really tired of everything.

before bed i take three 50 mg quetiapine (seroquel) and as many melatonin gummies as i feel like. it’s perfect for not feeling anything & i sleep like a baby. last time i had this “my year of rest and relaxation” phase was in 2023 and it actually feels good again.

je crois que c’est un peu trop tard pour moi 🥲

j’aime beaucoup le français, c’est une langue très belle et ludique, mais après presque 10 ans j’arrive toujours pas à penser en français. j’aurais aimé y être exposé aussi tôt qu’à l’anglais. du coup j’envie ceux qui ont commencé une éducation francophone très jeunes.

also discovered this song today. i feel kinda patriotic.

i stopped listening after the 2nd symphony because i wasn’t feeling it. i think it’s "schubert spring" rn. not sure it’s a good idea.

i’m sooo good at acting without even trying that people who know me think i’m an intellectually accomplished young woman. but i actually don’t know anything i think i know and this isn’t imposter syndrome. i’m basically a con artist??? sorry to disappoint all my friends.

this is so funny lol

icebreaker questions on a first date : - what’s your take on garlic ? -do you have an ex who transitioned after your breakup ? -do you think it’s better to let a plant dry than to overwater it ? -what’s your relationship with sufism ?

it’s just mesmerizing.

je vais faire la pile de livres la plus irréaliste pour mai et ofc je vais rien lire. stay tuned.