haley

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haley

haley

@imnothaleyy

voted sexiest joke writer of the year

Katılım Ocak 2015
295 Takip Edilen188 Takipçiler
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haley
haley@imnothaleyy·
hey does anyone want to sublet my apartment for 45mins while I go to trader joes? it would be around 10k but I am flexible
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haley
haley@imnothaleyy·
So no one wants to preform the confrontation song from Les MIs at the Silverlake Bacari
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haley
haley@imnothaleyy·
Hold music for the Canadian government phone number is bossanova
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haley
haley@imnothaleyy·
At the DMV: hahaha so you guys take AfterPay right?
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haley
haley@imnothaleyy·
Trying to find a hobby in your mid 20s is so hard why doesn’t it say if the kayaking class I just signed up for is BYOK OR NOT
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haley
haley@imnothaleyy·
Last night was an episode of girls (I saw vampire weekend and almost passed out from dehydration)
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haley
haley@imnothaleyy·
Just turning 25 and started saying shit like “this lineup is stacked” about a plaza with both a TJmaxx and a Nordstrom rack
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haley
haley@imnothaleyy·
You’ve got a 9 to 5 and I work the graveyard shift at the Chateau Mormont
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Acyn
Acyn@Acyn·
Trudeau: We’re probably going to keep booing the American anthem. But let me tell Americans, we're not booing you. We're not booing your teams. We're not booing your players. We're booing a policy that is designed to hurt us. And we're insulted. And we're angry. But we're Canadian. Which means we're going to stand up for each other. We're going to fight. And we're going to win.
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haley
haley@imnothaleyy·
Living in my own personal Severance seeing 3 customers at Whole Foods after work today
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haley
haley@imnothaleyy·
I hate being an adult like it’s Thursday and I’m trying to hype myself up to go get an oil change who am I
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verona
verona@tiltyouback·
if we didn’t have david lynch, we wouldn’t have riverdale which means we wouldn’t have ethel cain preacher’s daughter ….. makes u think
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paige hettinger
paige hettinger@404paigenotfnd·
no piece of art has shown as much understanding of and affection for david lynch as riverdale. in no way, shape or form is this even slightly a joke.
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zoë rose bryant
zoë rose bryant@zoerosebryant·
it’d be so funny if everyone tunes into timothée’s snl episode (understandably) expecting him to sing bob dylan and then the first performance starts and he breaks out into you’ve never had chocolate like this
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haley
haley@imnothaleyy·
Watching This Is The End while evacuated feels really appropriate right now
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mahrukh
mahrukh@parhloumahrukh·
“it is what it is” *vomits from anxiety*
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bald ann dowd
bald ann dowd@ali_sivi·
[watching romeo and juliet on broadway] ohhh okay i get it. it's like john b and sarah
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haley
haley@imnothaleyy·
sometimes I’m like if Jason Segal was a girl
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haley
haley@imnothaleyy·
There’s something about picking the most chaotic double feature to watch on a plane….. yasssss uncut gems x Lyle Lyle crocodile
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haley
haley@imnothaleyy·
Came across a reminder from myself to myself from when I went out in weho and lost my wallet….
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