urethral creature

@the_moral_abc Hi it’s nice to meet you I’m neurotic

if you are neurotic please hit my line

Completely torn apart

If you're a millennial it's time to pick your midlife crisis: 1. Quitting alcohol 2. Running 10 miles before work 3. Divorce 4. Panic baby at 35 with wife you hate 5. Pickleball 6. ADHD diagnosis 7. Dressing like you did in 2004 8. Blacking out every weekend like you’re 21 9. Weekly hinge dates 10. Ice baths and saunas 11. Board games and craft beer in the suburbs 12. Getting into tattoos 13. Quitting your job to explore your “passions” 14. Plants and the environment 15. Traveling

@knucklexdragger WOOOOH

@goldtoothedworm Yes bitch

i havent smoked a cigarette yesterday or today !

@imp_stool Now the rest of you 💕

Finally falling in love with my natural hair texture

I definitely was NOT eating cat food today if anybody was wondering

@garlic_wife @bourboli Yes exactly

@imp_stool @bourboli is that a reference to picking up pennies???

Floorpunch Youth of Today Negative Approach Faith No More Raw Deal

@garlic_wife Move closer to meee

I’ve never been a person that has put much stock into dream interpretation but, I've been having a series of dreams that could really only mean that it’s time to leave brooklyn.

@LexiMalevolent That’s so rad!!!

@imp_stool I’ve actually had both removed! I had a double mastectomy and reconstruction done last year (preventative surgery) and decided I didn’t need them anymore either 😂😂

Tattoo progress 😎

@TSSteinbacher I hope that’s not cancellable 😥

Getting cancelled for jacking off and eating my own cum.

@LexiMalevolent Did you remove your nipple too? Because I removed my right one as well 🤭

@imp_stool Aaah thank you! 🥹🫶

I’m so sleepy

@strugglinguncle Cuuute

candid from forcing my brother to get a pedicure

@WindsorBeaver So much ankle room!

@imp_stool Your legs doth deceive me! 😂 Bootcut!!!

I liked my outfit and my friends gassed me up 🤠

@poppunksucks Thank you!!! I might keep wearing em!

I got my dead best friend’s prince albert jewelry