sal :3

@the0nlygirl sal: hey guys its me sal :D

Hannah einbinder: does anyone know any older women I can make out with? Gianmarco: cunt A 20 y/o who’s never had a pap smear: the speculum is medical rape. Slayyyter: CRANK IT Class of 2020: we didn’t get a prom. We didn’t get a graduation Awkwafina: what is you talmbout

Computer please AI generate a movie of me in Star Wars world killing bad guys John Wick style. Put my buddy deadpool there too. Reduce Woke by 50%. Go ahead and reduce it another 20%. Oh christ that’s too far. Dial up Woke just a little, maybe 3%. Thank you computer. I love you

“It’s the Digital Circus, ma’am. Your son went insane while trying to find an exit, he abstracted.”

@lavi64719 what the union aint got health insurance

@spaghettisal just been feeling numb lately. I don't know i might be going deaf. I've had ear troubles since I was a kid. Big whoop

I think it’s time to give up on my left ear

im moving out of an apartment in which the management company is a total piece of shit so im leaving boogers in places they will probably miss

i met the loml at the deli

yo but if The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, that means that The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind…. my man 🤝 😂

@edmundmcmillen give me a call

hahah yes! mewgenics flea. delightful creature. so pleasant to see.

@vixtorkinotime @mattreevesLA

@mattreevesLA I can beat up your Batman

Indeed, it is. ❤️

seriously having deja vu because the bus driver told me the same thing earlier today

@KingLibtard @buckets_kv24 @JomboyMedia i wrote an entire sentence

@buckets_kv24 @JomboyMedia It’s weird that I wrote an entire sentence knocking DEI and that’s what you fixated on….yawn.

Ball woman takes a tumble

@jameswebb_nasa because i don’t wanna die you dumbass faggot

Se a morte reduz o orgulho a nada em poucos segundos, por que deixamos que ele conduza toda a nossa vida?

@BWWings when i went to buffalo wild wings everything was normal dinner was pretty good but i looked up and realized there were 7 balvarines in the rafters and once they realized i saw them they jumped down and gored all of the patrons and most of the waitstaff and a few of the cooks

Bottomless Apps are $9.99 for your group, not per person

that’s right

fort wayne, indiana

This is what I would eat for dinner every night if I made 70k

@LaurenZaring @neonlazrbear @legaltweetz my mechanical tiger is not for sale you fucking simpleton i know he is but wires and metal but i love him like a son or nephew

@spaghettisal @neonlazrbear @legaltweetz I’m buying send me dms

I commend President Trump on his war against wokeness