hitch: where are we going?
annie: my place. you can sleep on the couch.
hitch: i am not sleeping on the couch!
annie: fine, you can sleep on the stove.
[ackerman uncle-niece au]
levi: hey, mikasa, i know how much you kids like that rock-metal-pop-emo-punk music, so i got you, eren, and armin some tickets to uh... "michael romance?"
mikasa: ... my chemical romance???
jean, about mikasa: she is the woman of my dreams!
connie: you say every woman is the woman of your dreams.
jean: i have a lot of dreams!
jean: … and most of them are about women.
connie:
jean, sounding distressed: … apart from the one where i had the body of a crab.
ymir: i don’t give a fuck
historia, shivering:
ymir: are you cold, love? you need my jacket? a blanket? cup of tea? a hug? come sit over here, let me rub your shoulders.
falco: can you imagine not being human and just living out your days as a weeping willow, though? beautiful, by the water, unburdened... ideal.
gabi: i wanna be the one from harry potter that beats the shit out of everyone and everything.
zofia: agreed.
levi: i can't believe something so terrible could happen.
connie: press f to pay respects.
levi: see, this is why i hate teenagers. i don’t even know what that means.
kenny: when you turn 18, people are gonna try and tell you to buy drugs or cigarettes because you can. no. you know what else is legal to buy at 18? blades. get yourself a damn sword. a big knife is also okay.
eren: anything you say in the next thirty seconds is free, starting right now.
historia: you’re cocky. arrogant. bossy and pushy. you also have a god complex and don’t think of anybody but yourself.
eren: but—
historia: wait, I still have twenty-three seconds and i’m not done.