daily incorrect shadowhunter quotes

Jace: Bro- Simon: No, no, hold up, rewind... My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

Alec: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Magnus: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you! Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again! Alec: Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Magnus: Is it working?

Simon: Raphael, you need to react when people cry! Raphael: I did. I rolled my eyes.

Magnus: If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches.

Clary: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons? Izzy: Fake?

Simon: I don’t care what anyone thinks about me. Raphael: Ok. Simon: Wait, why such a muted reaction? Did that not sound cool?

The demon Izzy summoned, standing amidst the destroyed kitchen: How? How were you able to summon me?! Izzy, flipping through a cookbook as fast as she can: I don’t know!! You were supposed to be chicken soup!

Clary: I am so horny and angry all the time.

Izzy: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.

Jace: Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot.

Valentine: Some people say that I have a god complex. I’d like to think that I’m a complex god.

Jace: If you ever feel stupid or weak or powerless, just remember that I am not. I am out there, very dangerous, and I am looking for you. Good luck.

Magnus: Look, do I consider myself attractive? Yes. But would I have sex with my clone? Also yes.

Jace: *Picks up hammer and breaks ringing cell phone.*

@alicia137569 he pretends to be cocky to hide his internal self loathing

Jace? Hating himself?? I thought he loved himself

Jace: You’ve got to learn to love yourself. Alec: But don't you hate yourself? Jace: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused.

Jace: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it. Simon: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

Alec: When you said you were "magical in bed", this isn't exactly what I was expecting. Magnus: *draws from the deck* Is this your card? Alec: Holy shit-

Simon: *seductively takes off glasses* Wow, you're... blurry.

Clary: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism. Alec: And you came to me?