iz

if i was justin Bieber, i too would force people to watch me karaoke my own songs

the only time the men's bathroom line is longer than the women's is at engineering conferences

ritz crackers: The American Croissant

@Ritzcrackers : The American Crossiant

@Ritzcrackers : The American Crossiant

@Ritzcrackers .. The American Crossiant

corporate culture is just another flavor of a cult

govt elections should be love island style: no regular candence, they'll get a text that the public has been voting and someone is getting dumped from the island..maybe then they would finally take action instead of fundraising for the next election

one time my mom went to a supreme court hearing and said Clarence Thomas slept through the entire thing, so glad he had the power to take away my constitutional right to an abortion!!

the real reason the stock market is so bad is bc of the adderall shortage in nyc..wall street bois are struggling

@braddavi34 you put your full bussy into it tonight. we still love you king

joe burrow is just grownup Dash from the incredibles

@katyaellis_ I think Margot needs a little laptop

me and my colleague caught in the midst of a collaborative PR brainstorm today

UFC is for straight men who want to experiment with soft core gay porn

"we have a reoccurring segment on our show where we do a deep dive on our guests instagram" i say to no one when i google any celebrity

don’t listen to the haters! post that spotify wrapped! i deeply care about your music taste

this belongs in a museum. modern art

raheem sterling is absolutely caked up

@alauni_greig i have 3 of these and love them! homedepot.com/p/Philips-Colo…

why doesn't Daniel kaluuya have social media... I need that in my life