Darian Shultz

Who the hell do ants think they are??? Biting my ankles all willy nilly

I’m not living enough & that don’t sit right with me

You’re allowed 2 minutes of sadness then you gotta keep it gangsta.

I miss trying to seem sober to a bartender and just way overdoing it like "Excuse me good sire, may I please inquire as to the whereabouts of your bathing rooms?"

Coffee got me going from yelling at stop signs for simply doing their job —-> to thinking about what I would do if I was president lmaooo

I encourage everybody to at least (in private if need be) take a shot at doing something that you actually think you’d like but your friend circle has deemed it “corny” or “lame”. Liberate yourself from the constant need of approval from everybody besides yourself and go have fun

what’s meant for you is meant for you, no one can stop it from happening. read that again

@pulte Hey I have them on billy boy can you send a gal some cash bc of life lolz $DarianShultz

$DarianShultz I’m gonna keep retweeting until I win hehe

$DarianShultz

@paydenmax Aye and yay

@itsdarebear My butthole be like that when I just smell some coffee ps. I shipped yo shit

When that first little bit of coffee hits your butthole : 🖕🏽☕️🖕🏽

Pumpkins the day after you carve them and they get already start to rot 🖕🏽🎃🖕🏽

Butterflies after you called them ugly as a caterpillar :🖕🏽🦋🖕🏽

My brain yesterday when I accidentally ate too much of the edible : 🖕🏽🧠🖕🏽

@pulte You’ve never noticed me before!! Now is the time my friend!! I subscribed 💗💗💗 I’ll most definitely share the love with others ✨✨✨

@madelinmooon It’s gonna be the Octoberest of all October nights ladies n gentlemen

2020’s Halloween will occur under a Blue Moon, which means October has two full moons, one on the first and one on Halloween. Oooooo this October is going to be the Octoberiest October yet

I’m a little slut for pizza, always have been, always will be

We can’t agree on much, but we can ALL agree on jazz