Lahiru Samarasinghe

do you think they've explored each other's bodies

"haha don't you hate it when you accidentally last year down?" Oh no sorry I'm actually an adult

I get that personality hires are important but do they have to be so fucking loud

his WHAT

Genuinely almost died driving in this rain I should get to skip work today as a reward for surviving

(45/45) In conclusion, the littler the rascal, the more of a rascal they truly are.

@twirlyenough I agreed so hard I gasped

Finally got the courage to block texts from my dentist 🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾

I love spending my summer dog walks dreading just how fucking shitty the winter dog walks are going to be

🤠🤠🤠 Yeeehawww! 🤠🤠🤠 Mosey on down to @TheCCU this weekend to catch our very own local cowboy @IdiotRyanKahl! Featuring potential future cowboy @itslahiru! Lasso yourself some tickets now! 🐮🏜️

The wolves are emails I’m the lamb

WHAT DID THEY DO

So I hate my current dentist and I was hoping to come here and cyberbully them and

@MaldonadoTido Your last tweet was a year ago

Why is there not a single elected official from our government talking about the very serious situation that is happening right now in my pants? 😎

@zakagan I knew this was a Kagan tweet before I even saw your name

can’t wait to see this!

happy to announce next friday we’re doing it again and i am making a point to be less off-putting this time! these are really great comics though, very highly rec

bro are you fuckin lollygagging right now

No I am not "hard at work," you perv

THIS WEEKEND! @haha_jcough is a comedian with a very distinct style. Dave Attell recently described him on stage as “someone who looks like he knows everything there is to know about parrots.” Tickets: dojour.us/e/16423 @hipearlrose @itslahiru #twincitiescomedy