Marcus Ryan

It is with heavy heart that today I'm announcing that I have replaced Michael Voss as the Carlton FC coach. Sorry for my losses. #AFL

Honestly it was just nice to get my face out there. Thanks for having me. 🫶😬 @NetflixIsAJoke

@NetflixIsAJoke Honestly it was just nice to get my face out there. Thanks for having me @netflix @NetflixIsAJoke 🫶 #BlessedLife #comedy

132 of the world's funniest people walk into a ball pit... #NetflixisaJokeFest

@TJsoSolidd @BenBankas he came because he was performing.

@BenBankas Why do sensitive people come to comedy shows ? I never understood it

Triggered girl at comedy show…

Tune into @3AW693 today at 2pm we're taking your calls on prison tours. Thanks to @GetLostMag with @tonemoc 133693 ☎️ #Melbourne

Cool story but I'm kinda faster and more efficient with my time! 😬 @adidas Where's my sponsorship?! 🤷😅 @LondonMarathon #LondonMarathon #london #SabastianSawe #Marathon #running #marathon2026

Someone approved this cock n balls. And we salute them. 🫡😂 @AFL #AFLTigersDees #ANZAC #anzacday #melbourne #mcg

@rustyrockets @piersmorgan translation: "forget the rape, don't worry about the victims" 🙄

Wait! @piersmorgan I’ve found that verse!! The really important thing is that we, you, me all of us are loved. And not because of anything we have accomplished or ever could achieve. But because of who loves us.

@BarackObama *checks notes* how many bombs did you drop? 🙃

Although we don’t yet have the details about the motives behind last night's shooting at the White House Correspondents Dinner, it’s incumbent upon all us to reject the idea that violence has any place in our democracy. It’s also a sobering reminder of the courage and sacrifice that U.S. Secret Service Agents show every day. I’m grateful to them – and thankful that the agent who was shot is going to be okay.

@vittorioangelon Joe Rogan is an open mic comic. I think he does a podcast. Tell him you love boxing. Should get you on.

Thanks

Norm was and still is the GOAT. ❤️

@BowTiedTrance I didn't even know he was sick. 😂 Norm was and is the greatest. ❤️

In honor of 4/20, here's a clip from Norm Macdonald's show that should be far more widely viewed and appreciated. There's a reason I call 4/20 "Hold the Fort Day." 😂 (We need to bring back "hold the fort" as a saying, too.) Happy 420, ya old chunk of coal.

@daveleedwnundr as long as they still stock Mini-discs! I'm glad I got one when they were on sale for only $599 in that 3 month window of existing. 😅

JB Hi-Fi slowly continues to remove physical media from its stores. Things are looking grim for Blu-ray, DVD, CD, and Vinyl collectors in Australia!

@WhiteHouse Hitler had similar visions..

“I am pleased to announce that TODAY my Administration officially filed the presentation and plans to the highly respected Commission of Fine Arts for what will be the GREATEST and MOST BEAUTIFUL Triumphal Arch, anywhere in the World. This will be a wonderful addition to the Washington D.C. area for all Americans to enjoy for many decades to come!” - President DONALD J. TRUMP

Carlton are shit but they kicked more goals in the first quarter than Collingwood did all match tonight. In conclusion... Carn the Saints! #AFLPiesFreo

As a Victorian who grew up on VFL/AFL, I gotta say the best part of this Collingwood v Fremantle game has been switching over to watch the NRL instead! 😂 This Broncos v Cowboys match is far more enjoyable. #AFLPiesFreo #NRLBroncosCowboys #NRL #AFL

Last night Carlton kicked more goals in the first quarter than both Collingwood and Fremantle have kicked in the first half combined tonight! AND CARLTON ARE SHIT! This means @CarltonFC are 2 times better than @CollingwoodFC & @freodockers combined!🧐 #AFL

@WhiteHouse Will just leave this here... Melania was born in 1970 in Yugoslavia.

"If you import the Third World, you become the Third World." - President Donald J. Trump

The @AFL should fine @essendonfc for hijacking and terrorising passengers. #afl #essendonfc #godons @VirginAustralia