Ivan

@_naDxeR YOOOOOOO REX HAPPY BIRTHDAY, welcome to the old man club

25 🎈

“zohran’s wife tweeted bad stuff at age 15” ok have you seen what the president of the United States is currently tweeting at age 79

Mi árbol genealógico está en peligro: Mi bisabuela: 12 hijos Mi abuela: 7 hijos Mi mamá: 2 hijos Yo: 1 perro El perro: esterilizado.

i need to start being more evil but my big beautiful mexican heart won’t allow it

may Allah spare my future kids from the karma of my words. i apologise for the evil i spoke.

trying to fix my sleep schedule but the world is so nice and quiet from 12 to 5 am

When the fifth beer gives me direct command to smoke

Now the real smoking begins…

not impressed. i equip this ability after 3 beers

no babe i love your alarm that starts going off at 5:30 and that you just hit snooze on every 10 minutes for upwards of an hour

i miss when china had my data 💔

cigarettes that don’t count - drunk cigs - pregame cigs - if everyone else is smoking - if i am in an awkward social situation - if i’m on a balcony - if someone hands me a cigarette from a brand that is illegal where i live

stop using ozempic and starve like a real man

Harvesting crème brûlée. My acrylic painting.

got blood drawn this morning and nobody gave me a lollipop after this world is sick

i accidentally watched like 3 minutes of the new smiling friends episode in spanish and i didn't question everyone speaking spanish because it just seemed like something they would do

Dude looks pretty good for 33yrs old