Kevin

The sound cats make when they talk to birds

But if you’re just some regular dude poring over it like it’s some long lost abrahamic text, fuckin get some help, man. Devils in November. Jets in February. Who could possibly care. Beers, flirting, cigs, and laughs in July, buddy. Eye on the ball.

Look I know hockey pundits are grasping at anything to talk about, but there’s truly nothing less interesting to talk about than the regular season schedule announcements

I think it’s probably a good filter, but spiritually insane for companies in the middle of fucking nowhere, flyover state to have mandatory on-site requirements.

Yep

Im about an hour into Project Hail Mary and I already can feel I’m going to be bawling my eyes out by the end

Dudes on here saying “best team lost tonight” like Mexico didn’t have a man advantage for like a half hour and half a billion shots on goal

It’s pretty cool how if you dont post on Facebook for like 8 years and only occasionally try to stalk someone, meta just decides you are an ultra maga weirdo and only puts insane fake news on your feed so you can watch the fall of humanity in real time

No, it’s called a Rune Glifberg Machine and it does tailslides and yells at you in Danish

@ItsMeKristennn ITS A FREE SAUNA?? EN ESTA ECONOMIA?? KRISTEN, POR FAVOR

Listen I won’t ever complain about the summer heat because I’ll take it over winter any day but my GOD PITTSBURGH, CAN WE LAY OFF WITH THE HUMIDITY OF 90% ??????

Man does it feel gross to apply for a job at a place that just laid a fuck ton of people off, but idk shit about making my own multi billion dollar company so here we are.

@BannedCarTrav This has calmed me in a way that I’m embarrassed to admit

@ivebeenkevin We gave out soap as wedding favors - got a local guy - good stuff. Don’t despair.

I keep getting ads for a $38 soap brick and I hate to admit it but bar soap is the only nice, niche thing I have left. If Big Soap takes this from me, idk man. How the fuck do you even arrive at $38 for soap

they low-key hittin that shit

I’m tired of pretending I don’t hate the shit out of an aperol spritz. Just go huff the macys perfume counter, pervert

Winding up in a Miami gulag because I can’t stop publicly agreeing with Hunter Biden on twitter dot com

Shadyside. Ellsworth Ave. If you put a gun in someone’s mailbox, they were not expecting it.

Absolutely nothing pisses off a cat more than lightly grasping their paw and asking “can I have this?”

It is mystifying how shit Cody Gakpo is

I’ve read the phrase “boiled piss” or some derivative no fewer than 6 times this morning. I’m really going to miss the English influence when this season is over in an hour

Rendering myself unhirable by answering truthfully when start ups ask “why do you want to work for us?”. Like you need a senior SME and I need a paycheck. No one knows your 30-person company, get over yourself