I_Matthew

@nwanneka_omeche I have no doubt 😁

We win all 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙.

1st daughter: Dad I'm a lesbian Dad: Hmm, that's okay 2nd daughter: Me too. Dad: is there nobody in this family who likes men? Son: I do Dad:

Police: You're so drunk, you can barely even walk Me: Yes officer, that's why i chose to drive instead Police:

Do rats see other rats deád and be like: No., no, not Aisha... I was with her in the bag of rice just now?😂

Teacher: Why are you late? Me: A man lost his hundred dollar note Teacher: So you were helping him to find it Me: No, i was standing on it Teacher:

Interviewer: What's your strengths? Me: I can flirt anywhere. Interviewer: And what's your weakness? Me: Those beautiful eyes of yours. Interviewer:

Sibling: Take me out or I’ll tell mom that you take sugar with your nose Me:

Me: Hey man, what are you doing in my house? K!ller: I'm here to k!ll you Me: Hehe I can't d!e here K!ller: why not? Me: Because I'm in the living room K!ller:

Taxi Driver: I love my job, I'm my own boss no one tells me what to do Me: Turn Left

Doc: well I got the result of your ultrasound and I've brought the result for you. Wife: wait..., We don't wanna know if it's a boy or a girl. Doc: well, it's........ not breathing. Wife. Husband.

Doctor: We got your test results back Me: Did i pass Doctor: You will soon Me:

American student: who tf stole my pen? Nigerian student: nice one, everybody pen go disappear for this class

POV: my bro just proved his old Toyota can hit 220 km/h Bro and Me:

Teacher: Give me your father's number Me: No he's a wife Teacher:

My Boss: Your performance in the company had reduced. Me: "To match my salary." My Boss:

Officer: Did you see the red light? Me: Yes Officer: Then why didn't you stop? Me: Because I didn't see you

Genie: you have 3 wishes Me: I wish I was always right Genie: ok, you have 2 more Me: No I have 3 Genie:

Me: Where is your husband? Wife: We had an argument, He is in the garden Me: I was there and I didn't see him Wife: Dig deeper Me:

Me: Do we have a doctor here? Doctor: Yes, I'm a doctor. Me: What's your specialty? Doctor: I'm a doctor in Mathematics. Me: My friend is dying. Doctor: Minus one Me:

**My mum and dad arguing** Mum: "My son and I don't need your money" Me: