I_Matthew

9.1K posts

I_Matthew banner
I_Matthew

I_Matthew

@iyanda_matthew

Web3|Crypto 📉📈|Open to networking,collaborating with projects,investors,& vibrant communities shaping the decentralised web.Influencer @cue_influence agency

Somewhere in the universe Katılım Aralık 2019
915 Takip Edilen1.1K Takipçiler
I_Matthew retweetledi
H
H@IfeanyiEmm34386·
1st daughter: Dad I'm a lesbian Dad: Hmm, that's okay 2nd daughter: Me too. Dad: is there nobody in this family who likes men? Son: I do Dad:
H tweet media
English
319
4.4K
63.8K
1.4M
I_Matthew retweetledi
H
H@IfeanyiEmm34386·
Police: You're so drunk, you can barely even walk Me: Yes officer, that's why i chose to drive instead Police:
H tweet media
English
53
1.3K
16.8K
218.1K
I_Matthew retweetledi
𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐄
𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐄@stillthatabee·
Do rats see other rats deád and be like: No., no, not Aisha... I was with her in the bag of rice just now?😂
English
813
4.6K
28K
602.9K
I_Matthew retweetledi
Roro ☃
Roro ☃@RoRoFli·
Teacher: Why are you late? Me: A man lost his hundred dollar note Teacher: So you were helping him to find it Me: No, i was standing on it Teacher:
Roro ☃ tweet media
English
55
535
5.2K
41K
I_Matthew retweetledi
H
H@IfeanyiEmm34386·
Interviewer: What's your strengths? Me: I can flirt anywhere. Interviewer: And what's your weakness? Me: Those beautiful eyes of yours. Interviewer:
H tweet media
English
433
16K
141.5K
1.7M
I_Matthew retweetledi
H
H@IfeanyiEmm34386·
Sibling: Take me out or I’ll tell mom that you take sugar with your nose Me:
H tweet media
English
100
373
3.9K
56K
I_Matthew retweetledi
Roro ☃
Roro ☃@RoRoFli·
Me: Hey man, what are you doing in my house? K!ller: I'm here to k!ll you Me: Hehe I can't d!e here K!ller: why not? Me: Because I'm in the living room K!ller:
Roro ☃ tweet media
English
37
434
5K
39.8K
I_Matthew retweetledi
H
H@IfeanyiEmm34386·
Taxi Driver: I love my job, I'm my own boss no one tells me what to do Me: Turn Left
H tweet media
English
356
7K
76.4K
785.1K
I_Matthew retweetledi
Ayômîde 🧢
Ayômîde 🧢@Haryormdey4u·
Doc: well I got the result of your ultrasound and I've brought the result for you. Wife: wait..., We don't wanna know if it's a boy or a girl. Doc: well, it's........ not breathing. Wife. Husband.
Ayômîde 🧢 tweet mediaAyômîde 🧢 tweet media
English
7
18
276
4.6K
I_Matthew retweetledi
H
H@IfeanyiEmm34386·
Doctor: We got your test results back Me: Did i pass Doctor: You will soon Me:
H tweet media
English
81
1K
11.2K
747.4K
I_Matthew retweetledi
Big MEKA💜🦅
Big MEKA💜🦅@MekaWrights·
American student: who tf stole my pen? Nigerian student: nice one, everybody pen go disappear for this class
Big MEKA💜🦅 tweet media
English
118
359
2.8K
51.1K
I_Matthew retweetledi
H
H@IfeanyiEmm34386·
POV: my bro just proved his old Toyota can hit 220 km/h Bro and Me:
H tweet media
English
47
268
3.1K
719.1K
I_Matthew retweetledi
Roro ☃
Roro ☃@RoRoFli·
Teacher: Give me your father's number Me: No he's a wife Teacher:
Roro ☃ tweet media
English
4
54
771
13.4K
I_Matthew retweetledi
H
H@IfeanyiEmm34386·
My Boss: Your performance in the company had reduced. Me: "To match my salary." My Boss:
H tweet media
English
47
590
5.1K
56.3K
I_Matthew retweetledi
Roro ☃
Roro ☃@RoRoFli·
Officer: Did you see the red light? Me: Yes Officer: Then why didn't you stop? Me: Because I didn't see you
Roro ☃ tweet media
English
38
1.3K
15.6K
152.7K
I_Matthew retweetledi
H
H@IfeanyiEmm34386·
Genie: you have 3 wishes Me: I wish I was always right Genie: ok, you have 2 more Me: No I have 3 Genie:
H tweet media
English
786
31.4K
451.6K
7.8M
I_Matthew retweetledi
H
H@IfeanyiEmm34386·
Me: Where is your husband? Wife: We had an argument, He is in the garden Me: I was there and I didn't see him Wife: Dig deeper Me:
H tweet media
English
53
592
5.9K
80.8K
I_Matthew retweetledi
H
H@IfeanyiEmm34386·
Me: Do we have a doctor here? Doctor: Yes, I'm a doctor. Me: What's your specialty? Doctor: I'm a doctor in Mathematics. Me: My friend is dying. Doctor: Minus one Me:
H tweet media
English
82
1.7K
20.5K
224K
I_Matthew retweetledi
H
H@IfeanyiEmm34386·
**My mum and dad arguing** Mum: "My son and I don't need your money" Me:
H tweet media
English
160
1.8K
24.8K
208.6K