jack fagan

New twitter, like new Coke before it, is gross and I don’t want to drink it. Also Bill Cosby was the face of new Coke and that shit seems apt, too.

Is it me or is Peacock run off Windows 95?

I’ve lost loved ones to cancer, AIDS, addiction, the lot. And yet nothing is worse than your friend marrying a Peloton guy.

@FunKelly Thaz awesomely

Thirty-nine years ago today AfterMASH was born.

@FunKelly Oh sure everyone took Qatar’s money but when Camilla needs them? Nothing.

Why can’t my seven-year-olds get out of the car?

A chipwich is a valid sandwich.

@FunKelly several is enough

@otherhouses @ZacharyLipez EMMA

Does the band Hot Chocolate have an interesting backstory or surprising deep cuts or any other reasons for closer reexamination a la Kool & the Gang

Everyone: you have consistently failed to move with the prevailing culture NYT: HOW BOUT NOW? nytimes.com/2023/02/17/sty…

@FunKelly Yeah but it’s a construct of Big Car Bow. They’re trying to trick us into buying new rides for each other.

@FunKelly It’s me. You can just say breakfast again.

If you like getting 100 consecutive one-word texts you’re gonna LOVE being married. Happy Valentine’s Day!❤️

@FunKelly It must be on tape *someplace*

REMbrandt

@BenjaminBirdie Jeebus Crackers

Poker Face is cheugy

@FunKelly Oh it’s that catering show now. The one that won’t die.