Jake Stringer

No pico

Me: How does anyone afford groceries? Also me: I should LS swap my Grand Wagoneer.

Is just another guy in the woods with a guitar

Some folks are gettin’ tired

This game looks like Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul 2.0

When them boys meet me in Laredo, they think they own Laredo too.

Taco Bell’s playlist sounds like it was borrowed from Dillards in 1992 and it’s not a good thing #hireme

The irony of wearing your “Sunday best” when Jesus wore Sandals and a robe EVERYWHERE, apparently.

Do stale donuts have the same amount of calories as fresh donuts? Because that would be a real shame

People who cook with bay leaves: Does it really add to the flavor or do you just like the idea of that leaf being in there?

@denneking23 Still counts!

@jakeoftheozarks Meg and I won’t ever stop

If we get 10K plays on this first-day, I’ll post my drafts.

Kayak fishing with a hollow crawdad lure stuffed with Beechnut chew. I followed a snake towards the bank and casted towards it. 3rd cast, he bit. At this moment I realized it was a monster Copperhead. Hook popped loose and I watched him eat the lure. Bet him tummy hurt.

@angelakwilcox There’s always a dang kid in the front row!

It’s a “costume”

The only time I’ve been sure I was having a mental breakdown was when I was driving through Oklahoma after a sleepless run through Texas and “Some Beach” by Blake Shelton came on and I laughed hysterically the entire duration of the song.

@ForrestMcCurren We should do that

@jakeoftheozarks I can spends hours throwing rocks at logs floating down a river.

Things I enjoy: Climbing on big rocks. Trying to balance on things. Throwing small rocks into water. Riding on the back of shopping carts. Petting dogs I don’t know. Petting dogs I do know.

We carve pumpkins for Halloween and make pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving, but why’s nobody carving pumpkin pies?

@ben_moon11 I’m just not sure yet, Ben…

@jakeoftheozarks Wait what

Has Bob The Builder always been British or is this one of those Mandarin Effect scenarios?