James King

Eni Aluko compared herself to a prime Wayne Rooney... “I probably was what Wayne Rooney was, in terms of being that new young kid on the block, like.. I was banging in goals at 16, 17”

Dear Charlton Athletic, Congratulations on acquiring the signature of Collins Sichenje. It is truly an honour for you. As per the rich traditions and very serious football customs of our country, kindly take note of the following essential conditions for his stay and success: 1. He must start all matches, unless injured, suspended, or abducted by destiny. 2. Substitutions are strictly prohibited until the 85th minute or later, regardless of scoreline, weather, or common sense. 3. All official starting XI posters must feature his picture prominently — others may appear as supporting cast. 4. Any shot on target by him shall be recorded as a goal in official statistics. 5. Any shot off target shall be generously counted as an assist. 6. Should he score an actual goal, the UK Army is expected to honour the moment with a 21-gun salute (minimum). We trust you will comply fully and look forward to seeing the club prosper under these perfectly reasonable expectations. Warm regards,A Very Patriotic Supporter.❣️❣️