James Asberry

“He has the power to wipe out the entire human race, and if we believe there’s even a one percent chance that he is our enemy, we have to take it as an absolute certainty… and we have to destroy him” #BatmanDoctrine

Damn bro. You cut your junk off and you smell like shit. 😂😭At this point, I'm hoping the aliens just space nuke us.

@HellRaz0r1776 I would not want my eye that close to a glory hole 😂 Fuck around and get eye Gonorrhea 🔥👁️

Good Morning!

Got results regarding Gary's bladder this morning. Phase 1👉aggressive bladder cancer😭 still need prayers please🙏🙏🙏

@Sober2026 Bruh, if I had a record of all the times I fell off it would look like a Gen. Z Christmas list.😭 Stay sober today. Tomorrow if for tomorrow. ODAAT. Rooting for you!

5 days sober after a pretty devastating relapse for a couple days of very public intoxication. Really knuckling down this time around for longer term change. #Sober #mentalhealthawarenessweek

@thomas_garrard In the early 90's no one had ever heard of a shart. I might have invented it? One late night after 18 or so Milwaukee's Best, I thought 4 chili dogs was a good idea. It wasnt 😞

Chili dogs on a holiday be like….

@Saxon_0f_Saxony @1Nicdar Head on a swivel brother! You and me bout the same weight. I don't leave my shit without that heat. These young mfrs gotta be shown rather than told!

@1Nicdar I'm 225 lb. 6 ft I work out 5/6 days a week and can hold my own in a fight. But lately when I go out for a walk in the evening I get worried someone is going to get the jump on me when I'm not paying attention. Irrational fear. But still scanning for danger

At your current age, what’s the most random thing you’re suddenly scared of that never bothered you before?

@1Nicdar Having a stroke or some shit and being hooked up to tubes. Pooping and peeing in bag smh. I'd rather burn or drown than that. It's pitiful. Then you die anyway. Last operation I had I was DNR. Doc tried talking me out of it. Mfr got an ear full 😂

Good mornin' ☕🐓 Picked a few peaches yesterday and gave them to some neighbors. 3 1/2 years ago my mission was to destroy Chilton Co and their delicious peaches 🙄. I'm no longer a "builder" I'm a "destroyer". 😪 FSoC peaches 🍑. Mission accomplished.

Alabama blessing: May the road rise up to meet you and may your drawers always stay cool. May the wind stay at your back and may you never get on I-65 in the summer like a damn fool. 🙏

@MobileJoe7 It's like living in Egypt during the plagues. 4 months drought? Here's 4 weeks rain all at once. Are we cursed? I don't know lol but half my trees are dead. Losing pecans is a curse unto itself.

Good Tuesday morning Tide fam! Pretty sure the drought is over here, 4” more by Saturday for insurance. 😊 Have a great day and stay safe! ☕️☕️☕️🇺🇸🇮🇱🅰️🐘🏈🏀⚾️🥎🏌️‍♂️RTR

Ion care how fine you are. I judge you by your cornbread. >Sweet milk instead of buttermilk= pass >Sugar in your bread= pass >Butter or oil instead of bacon grease or lard= pass >Cooking that shit in Pyrex instead of a cast iron skillet= Witch! Burn her at the stake!

@pebkac101 Damn. Any gen z kids needing a pot to cook beans in hit me up. 2 for $10, 3 for $15. Everybody and I do mean EVERYBODY should own at least one pot and one cast iron skillet. I thought that was a law. Murphys law? Alabama law? Federal law? Some kinda law.

Today’s boomer struggle meal: leftover Tuscan white bean soup with kale and sausage and some toasted fresh sourdough with butter. Cost: maybe a buck. Better than anything you could get at Panera for $20. Gen Z: but you need a pot to cook soup! Me: every normal adult has a soup pot Gen Z: lots of people are too POOR to have a pot. Me: they have their nails done every month and DoorDash coffee but they can’t afford a pot? Gen Z: you just don’t get it! 😭

These are the people who would eat you if you were in a plane crash. Two days in, "better eat James before he spoils." Even though there's still plenty of protein bars.

@JenDearing711 @SarahisCensored 👋War Damn Eagle!

@jamesasberry @SarahisCensored Hey! War Eagle!

Dear Brian, respectfully, I’m also a grandmother. Here’s a recent photo of me. (Taken on Saturday. No filter). Now that we’ve established that grandmothers come in all varieties, can you please stop treating every decent person on the internet like they’re your next “exposé” and get back to exposing actual bad people? Because lately, your investigative standard seems to be: “person disagreed with me online.” Surely there are real villains left on the internet. Go chase one of those.

Don't come crying on here about heat and humidity! Especially to Southerners! You ever had swamp crotch? No. Then stfu! 😂🤣😭

I'm from a part of Alabama that is 70/30 black/white so pretty much everyone is a lil redneck and a lil project. Which is good! Keeps people on their toes. You never know when I might give you fresh vegtables or shoot you in the face and take your shit. 🤷‍♂️

@ClownWorld So, this is why I have so many Oreos?

😭🤣🤣

🤣💀

@AllieJade1 The cans were way better. Idk what they did before putting it in plastic? I don't even remember when they changed it, but it's not the same.

Before there was pudding in child safe plastic little cups, we had pudding IN a can! With a tin lid! And we all managed to survive! There was chocolate, vanilla, tapioca, rice pudding and my personal favorite, butterscotch! How many of us licked the lid putting our tongues in danger, even though we were repeatedly told not to? What was your favorite?

@uncledoomer I had to pull out an extra blanket last night 😭

how i sleep with the ac on knowing europeans cant