james 🦠

honey we’re having guests please bring out our finest teapot

"Cows kill more people every year than sharks"

adele when they open the trap door beneath her

My boyfriend washed dishes and I haven’t said anything about it. He’s said “wow this kitchen looks spotless” twice since 8pm

Toutes mes félicitations, cher @LulaOficial, pour ton élection qui ouvre une nouvelle page de l'histoire du Brésil. Ensemble, nous allons unir nos forces pour relever les nombreux défis communs et renouer le lien d'amitié entre nos deux pays.

@muffin8or @FreddieBailey96 Only if you work that shift, which more often than not you don’t

NHS workers are over worked and under paid and they still don’t get paid the extra hour when the clocks went back last night.

🤡

Happy birthday, JANA 🥳

Queue is such a great word. The actual important letter, and then four more silently waiting behind it in a line.

wanna feel old? charlie from "charlie bit my finger" is now the reigning monarch of the united kingdom

Let’s do a drone light show over an uncontacted tribe and become their gods

"On the head my son!"

Can't believe they are going to make a MAN queen. This woke nonsense has gone too far.

The Queen died peacefully at Balmoral this afternoon. The King and The Queen Consort will remain at Balmoral this evening and will return to London tomorrow.

I’m no fan of The Queen but meeting Liz Truss and then immediately dying is a move I respect.

the voiceover person dipping into a mancunian accent when saying “dont worry darling” is my new favourite thing. cant stop listening to it

Cruise ship on the Tyne this morning. Very expensive apparently!

Congratulations @LewisCapaldi on becoming the next Prime minister #LizTruss