JamesthecaT

@CleansedTweets Maybe should've been using chopsticks?

I'm getting composite resin to seal/hide my chipped tooth before I leave China. It's cheap as chips here. Chipped it with a fork. Yup, can't make that up.🤦‍♀️

@paulg The fact the cost of living is insanely high is one reason people choose to have less or even no kids at all. Social media probably hasn't helped matters, young people would rather have money and material things rather than struggling trying to raise a family.

If Steve Jobs were still alive, he would have the moral authority to face and maybe even to solve this problem. But I doubt anyone in the phone business now does.

@CleansedTweets It's not the size of the tool it's the experienced arse behind it.......

@the_ceo99 The girth matters. Not length.

If pen!s size matter why y'all be moaning from a finger? Another lie they told men 😂🤯

@dom_kwok What about our pets and farmyard animals should we hide them too?😳

hide yo daughters, hide yo wife! there’s a new computer scientist in town

@CleansedTweets Quite ironic that I live in Aberdeenshire aka the Energy capital of Europe as it used to be known and the price of petrol, diesel and heating oil is sky high all thanks to these plebs!

Utter madness

@CleansedTweets What about if you got caught short whilst out walking in the woods?

I would never No 2 in anything but my own toilet.

@antmiddleton @Starlink @UniteTheKingdom You obviously forgot to pack your Just for Men beard dye on your expedition Ant? 🎅🏻

No it’s not Christmas yet 🎅🏼 however there something just as big on Saturday 16th May! You all know it, as it echoes across the globe! Even being at Everest base camp there’s nothing @Starlink can’t sort for me to speak at the @UniteTheKingdom rally hosted by the patriot himself @TRobinsonNewEra 🇬🇧 I look forward to talking about all things native, identity, culture, safety & security, law & order and of course my bid and the absolute necessity to become the next English Mayor of the Capital of England! 🫡🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

@frankbrunoboxer Blackpool?

Afternoon okay had a few days away guess where I was? Very nice and good to meet lots of people! Batteries recharged for a couple of busy weeks. I am being asked constantly about the West Ham disallowed goal. I am a boxing man not a football man. But I like many other West Ham fans have our armchair opinion! Not sure what's happened to the weather over here I might need to get the jumpers out again!!

@ronsterd89 My penis?

@CleansedTweets I remember working with a Polish guy when I worked in the oil and gas industry, he was disgusted by the amount of lazy folk in the UK on benefits. I always remember this one thing that he said, in Poland if we don’t work we don’t eat.....

Im a migrant worker (expat for the posh). I worked in Saudi Arabia; if I got made redundant, can I claim unemployment benefits? Answer: No. Fuck you, Penny - leave. I also worked in; Qatar? No. Fuck you, Penny - leave. Kazakhstan? No. Fuck you, Penny - leave. Thailand? No. Fuck you, Penny - leave. China? No. Fuck you, Penny - leave. UAE? Surely? No. Fuck you, Penny - leave. Myanmar? Absolutely not. Fuck you, Penny - leave. So why does the UK do it?? Why? Make it make sense!! It doesn't!

@TiffanyFong Well done and stick at it! I gave up smoking in 2012 then stupidly started vaping and got probably more addicted to that than I was to smoking 🤦🏻‍♂️ Gave up vaping last November and still vape/nicotine free 💪🏼

125 DAYS NICOTINE FREE 🎉

What was your favourite toy growing up... I'll Start: Battlecat

@MattCas04807118 I'm more concerned about the whereabouts of her disabled son Harvey whilst she's laid on that sun lounger like a crocodile 🐊

What is Katie Price doing? What in the wtf is that bit of backside actually doing there? 😳 Stop! 😳😳

@CleansedTweets Slightly more luxurious than my train journey from Newcastle to Aberdeen a few weeks ago, had to argue with a guy that was sat in my seat that I had paid to reserve. Eventually he gave in and moved his ass, but it almost ended in violence!🤣

In China, if you travel business class on a train, the staff will take you from the lounge, through security, and plonk you in your seat 💕. I am travelling 250 miles today. My ticket cost around $70 I have the old business class seat today. They are around 15 years old. But on busier routes, business class seats are like self-enclosed pods with a door and TV, like you get in first class on planes.

@CleansedTweets Have you developed some kind of nervous twitch?🤭

British Built 🇬🇧 💕

@dom_kwok What's cooking Dom?🍳

life is about to get so good

I've been to ladyboy bars in Bangkok so you didn’t have to. What’s the deal? Are they better looking than women? Short answer: No. Here's a breakdown. Bangkok has just 6–10 dedicated ladyboy bars, each with 20/30 dancers. The scene is much smaller than the wild stories suggest. Expats don't visit these bars often, or ever in some cases. But when I have visitors to Bangkok, it's a must to take them. The shock value is just too hilarious. There is one bar I prefer (won’t name it): every girl insists she’s a real woman & denies being a ladyboy at first. All the women in this bar have had gential surgery. *I will add, that I don't immediately tell friends we are in a ladyboy bar & wait for them to click. Most female visitors click right away, the male friends, it takes them alot longer with one friend in particular in complete denial when I eventually told him these are ladyboys. Do they look like women...? 'some'... But it’s obvious they are not, they’re taller, have bigger hands, and the voice usually gives it away. Vocal cord surgery exists but doesn’t really work IMO. Tip well and they’ll open up and being a ladyboy. Most can still orgasm (clear fluid, no semen) and some can lactate, they’ll squeeze milk from their breasts for a tip. Customers these days are mostly Asian guys, especially Indians. Westerners are no longer the main crowd as they once were in the early 2000s. Attractive? Generally no… but about 1 in 10 is genuinely stunning, so pretty you are shocked but the 'ladyboys are more beautiful than regular women' is simply not true. Are the bars safe? Yes absolutely. It's a bit of fun for some. Disgusting for others - but hey ... why not at least have a look. Ever been to one? If you have been to Bangkok ... surely you have? This to this post is a title from Youtube apparently this is dance tune.

@Q_TheStormRider Dr Trump strikes again with more medical tips, my favourite was during covid times when he suggested injecting bleach 🤦🏻‍♂️🤣

🚨Reporter: “We saw the bruising on your hand. Are you okay?” President Trump: “I’m very good. I clipped it on the table. So I put a little—what do they call it—cream on it. But I clipped it. I would say take aspirin if you like your heart, but don’t take aspirin if you don’t want to have a little bruising.” “I take the big aspirin. And when you take the big aspirin, they tell you that you bruise. The doctors said, ‘You don’t have to take that, sir. You’'re very healthy.’ I said, ‘I’m not taking any chances.’ That’s one of the side effectseffects. of taking aspirin.” FOLLOW ME, THE NEXT DROP WILL BE SHOCKING.

@Vet_X0 He feels happier and more energised now he's officially not classed as obese?🤷🏻‍♂️🤣

David is very folksy with us in the comments today. Energy level is increased.

@dom_kwok @kwok_phil Beaten by your little brother, shameful!🤭

family 💪 🤝