Joey’s translator

Thomas Tuchel has named his England squad to face Uruguay and Japan. What are your thoughts on the selection? #BBCFootball

@theRealEnzoMac Says here he’s 78.

No way this c*** is 29 😂😂😂

@englandcricket @T20WorldCup Yes Sam Curran’s bowling was superb but if not for Will Jacks’ innings it wouldn’t have mattered.Rest of the world quaking in their boots.

Victory in Mumbai 🦁 A nail-biter in our @T20WorldCup opener with Nepal 🏏 Match Centre: ms.spr.ly/6017QO31d

TNT broadcasters & Isa Guha for Aussie TV carrying on like pork chops.Yes we’ve won a test in Australia for the 1st time in 15 years….after losing the first 3 & the Ashes in 11 days in embarrassingly pathetic fashion against “the worst Aussie team for years” Calm down eh?

@sivory20 @SkyCricket Thanks for all that info i already knew.I have no idea why you felt my statement about Carse needed an Archer/Carse comparison but i’ll play along.Carse has bowled only 4 balls more than Archer yet conceded 156 more runs.Just saying.👍

@jarvito8 @SkyCricket Carse has 14 wickets to Archer's 9 and is second top wicket taker in the series behind Starc. 9 of Carse's wickets have been Australia's top 5, Archer has 6 of the top 5. Just saying

Here's how the England team is looking for the Men's Fourth Ashes Test 📝

On this batting paradise Australia’s number 9 can hit a trouble free 50 & their numbers 10 & 11 can even chip in with a few bonus runs.England’s top 3 meanwhile can muster 41 between them & are all gone within 10 overs.Pitiful.Absolutely pitiful.#Ashes

@bbctms @BBCSport No change in batting personnel i can forgive. No change in attitude,approach,game plan or strategy is a different matter.

The usual top seven? "I would have thought so." What are your thoughts on this from England head coach Brendon McCullum? Read more below ⏬

Remember the days when footballers didn’t celebrate winning a throw in with the fans like they’d just scored the winner in a fucking World Cup final?

@SkyCricket That just sums this absolute farce of a team up.We’ve got a style & we’re gonna stick to it……despite the fact it clearly doesn’t work.5-0 incoming.

"I think you've got to have a style of play you stick to!" 🗣️ Marcus Trescothick reacts to a tough day at The Gabba for England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

@footballontnt He doesn’t know why???If he can’t figure out that it’s probably because he’s been absolute dog shit all season then he’s as stupid as he is arrogant.

Could next Saturday's Premier League clash at Anfield be Mo Salah's final appearance on Merseyside? 👀

@piersmorgan I know you regularly spout shite Piers but jesus.I’d guess maybe 3 or 4 out of 60 million Englishmen shared that opinion.And the poor fuckers wear tin foil hats & eat lego.

‼️ BREAKING ‼️ * England take the lead. * Stokes & Jacks rock solid. * Partnership now 58. * Australia looking worried. * NO NATHAN LYON. * Repeat: NO NATHAN LYON. This ain’t over. #Ashes

@SkyCricket Nope,nobody can fault England’s effort.Their astonishing lack of intelligence is a far different matter.

"You cannot fault their effort" 👏 Nasser says England's bowlers looked "exhausted" this morning but praised their efforts, with Brendon McCullum's side currently trailing by 159.

Mitchell Starc batting like Ricky Ponting & Scott Roland looking comfortable shows how good this pitch still is for batting.Should be hard work for England to be 90 for 7 by stumps but i’m sure they’ll find a way.#Ashes

England’s bowlers looking to show that they can be equally as,if not even more brainless than the batsmen & doing a fantastic job of it.Let’s continue to bowl short to the bloke who keeps smashing the short ball everywhere.Good thinking.👏 #Ashes

Apparently this Rob Hatch bloke is a cycling commentator?Is there none on he can go & waffle on over & leave the cricket to those who know what they’re talking about.Good god he’s irritating.#Ashes

Now Joe Root has a century in Australia they’re free to fixate on something else. How about their team bowling more than 70 fucking overs in a full day’s play?#Ashes

Rooooooooooooooooot.#Ashes

Harry Brook out again having another horrific slog.There’s more brains in a sausage roll.#Ashes

Pigeons learn faster than English batsmen.Embarrassing.#Ashes