jordan_

Look, I’m no detective - but if I was trying to find a missing middle-aged rich lady who was tired of her shitty husband, I’d at least *ask* Pete Davidson.

Remember when Prince Harry revealed William came to his house and assaulted him because Harry stood up for Meghan and people called him dramatic?

Louis Walsh is an evil manipulator who forced us into an office to pay £70k+ to from our bank account to one of his own PR workers

megan fox wearing her step son’s tshirts

@heyitsandy_ Read this as ‘at B&Q’ and it was much better

me when i take control of spotify at a bbq

E.ON have announced profits of £4.9BILLION for the first 6 months of the year. That's £27,071,823 a day. £18,800 a minute. It's an increase of 40% on last year. Obscene.

Thanks to Brexit, Brits have the right to work the longest hours in Europe, until they reach the highest retirement age in Europe, when they get one of the lowest pensions in Europe. Why won't Remainers acknowledge that?

Jacob Rees-Mogg used a limousine instead of a car to travel to Wrexham. The day after saying we need to focus on spending tax payer money efficiently. It cost £1300 instead of £100. Then he billed the Taxpayer, that’s his 100% paying for nothing efficiency in action.

With the rising popularity of women’s football I hope it will encourage women to tell men on dates that they could have gone pro if they hadn’t received an injury 😞

- There are now enough homeless kids in England alone to fill the 02 Arena nearly 7 times over. - 4.2 Million kids in the U.K. are living in poverty. - 440,000 children are in poverty despite their parents or single parent working full-time. Kids really are being set up for future failure through no fault of their own …

Scrapping the 2-child benefit cap: £1.3bn A 1% wealth tax on assets over £10m: £10bn And we’re supposed to believe that ending child poverty is unaffordable?

If you think taking children out of poverty is just a cost and not an investment in a happy and healthy society, you’ve got both your values and your understanding of accounting all wrong.

@akinyiiBby That first love is usually their mum

i think men really fall in love once fr, after that they just roam the earth miserably looking for a similar version of their first love

Beyoncé will show us ass on ass, give us skin and beauty. And Jay Z will be on some podcast talking about how amazing his wife is and in the stadium cheering her on. Now this jobless low budget patriarch wants to come and stress THEE KEKE PALMER??

Moved out of my flat the other day. The letting agent is taking my deposit as it "wasn't cleaned when I left". 🫠

only children are so funny. you’re telling me you just hung around the house with two grownups all the time? like a little businessman?

Rishi Sunak promised in January that the NHS waiting lists were one of his top 5 priorities as Prime Minister🚨 The waiting lists are *growing*, not shrinking. He is failing to take the action we need to fix problems in the NHS. If this concerns you, please RT 💙

Wow. This was amazing. Kudos to @LewisCapaldi for not quitting - and kudos to the #glastonbury2023 crowd for singing him through his obvious issues.