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It feels like America has been in a 250 year old custody battle and we are the kids.
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Josh Cousins | Stand-up Comedian
2.2K posts
Josh Cousins | Stand-up Comedian
@JCousinsComedy
Stand-up comedian & writer Seen on Apple TV, Roku, & Amazon Jokes, clips, & observations 📩Booking: [email protected]
Katılım Aralık 2022
599 Takip Edilen218 Takipçiler
Talking out of his neck.
Daily Loud@DailyLoud
Fox news just aired a man wearing a mask on LIVE TV!
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When’s the last time you locked your keys in the car?
Today. Mine was today.
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I have a buddy who can’t taste or smell.
I call him Helen Smeller.
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26 years later and the song is still downloading
RetroNewsNow@RetroNewsNow
On May 3, 2000, Mark Gorton launched the peer-to-peer file sharing platform, LimeWire
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@ThatCheerMomOfX No. They take them to Metric Manor, Poundchester, or Poundminster.
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@thereallisaann What if they’re the same person?
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Josh Cousins | Stand-up Comedian retweetledi
I’m in love with this sentence:
“Consistency looks like nothing is happening, until everything changes.”
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We took the healthiest snack at the ballpark and fixed that.
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First Dates Are Hard…
Listen to the guy’s reaction to this joke
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Exactly They never went away after that 😂
Workplace Barbie@JustRadEnough
I don’t mean to brag but I’ve never ruined a friendship with a male friend by having sex with him.
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@Whatevah_Amy Title ideas:
“Big Hats and Bad Bets”
“The Two Minute Men”
“Hold Your Horses”
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I’d love to see a documentary about the behind the scenes of the Derby.
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A JP Morgan exec has been accused of making an employee a “sex slave”. She didn’t just micromanage, she had a hands-on, doggy-style approach.
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My wife is training to be a slap fighter, as far as the police are concerned.
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BREAKING: Stephen Curry has been diagnosed with a grade 3 hamstring strain.
Even his hamstrings are pulling up from three.
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Steph Curry put the Clippers to bed like a ‘90s parent…gave ‘em the night night shot.
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@earthcurated How sad it is that light pollution dulled our view.
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Unsolicited feedback… but make it intimate.
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