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@_kyleboy HJO and I frequent the same elite bowling alleys of Highland Park.

Mistook Haley Joel Ostmont for Beans (Even Stevens) tonight :( Be careful out there folks.

@TVCAtwater In all seriousness this created a chain of events (eating at Dune, being late for a job) that nearly ruined my day. Love you guys

Hey guys, it was crazy busy today so we are DONE for the day. Catch ya’ll bright early tomorrow morning 🤪

Some of the worst decisions of my life have been made at the Whole Foods hot bar.

Shazam for dog breeds

This airline told me to take my headphones out while taking off but let me land with my seat reclined and tray table down.

I've seen the worst boomerangs. Some things don't need to be a gif.

If I still use uber but demand to be surged priced does that make it ok?

@Mikeedelmusic @tjohnson92 PLz contact me ASAP

I hope your Christmas was as good as it was for this kid. m.imgur.com/3ANFfsJ?r

@Mikeedelmusic @tjohnson92 please tell Mikey Del that I'm interested.

@so_loredana @iamlp thanks!

@brandonjshaw sorry, I'm the Franz Ferdinand of Twitter replies.

I wanna do to pedal steel what George Washington Carver did to peanuts.

JD is under 'best friends' on my snapchat, but he is also really good at tweaking his amp (pictured) now you know.

If a devasting earthquake happened, as soon as it finished I'd ask the barber to finish my hair with scissors real quick.

Whenever I go to the barber I fear that a massive catastrophe will happen & I'll have to fight to survive w/ a goofy, half complete haircut.

I'd probably be pretty vain if Carly Simon wrote a song about me.

Just found out my mom is on Twitter. Don't look for her, just know that from here on, all my tweets with her in mind.