jeffstanger

Download something funny for your #Kindle. Also available in paperback. #Mystery #Satire amzn.to/3k1EIVA

@ScribSports @lunchmade Outstanding!

Looking through a binder from my childhood, I saw this page and felt like I should show it to @lunchmade…

@DevineGospel Is it... 1) Strike? 2) Unloading one (or more) bad contracts? 3) The announcement of a Nate Colbert Bobblehead giveaway?

Got a crazy ass DM Next off-season gonna be wild. Not sure good wild or bad wild hahaha

@ArynneWexler Beautifully written.

In the beginning, God made light. With Adam, He made man. But with Isaac, He made laughter. Most know the story of how Sarah laughed when she heard she’d finally be pregnant at ninety. “Yeah, right. Sure. Me? Pregnant? At this age? Who’s writing this script?” But then it happened. So Sarah gave him the name Yitzhak — “he will laugh.” The story of the first Jewish family didn’t begin with triumph, or power, or even survival. It began with a laugh. With disbelief turned into joy. With the reminder that it is never too late. The family that would give birth to Judaism and eventually Christianity (and yes, tragically, Islam too) began with a joke told by God Himself. So what do we do in the face of blood libel? In the face of violence and persecution? In the face of true hate? We do what Sarah did. We laugh. This is not denial. It is defiance. Laughter is the most subversive thing in the world. The tyrant cannot stand a joke. The antisemite cannot survive ridicule. Despair cannot live in the same room as comedy. The Nazis banned Jewish humor – they knew what it could do. Laughter is where truth survives. I feel very connected to Isaac. My parents had trouble conceiving, and it took a modern miracle for me to show up. My own life began in unlikely joy. And while I was raised on the lessons of the patriarchs and matriarchs, I was also raised on the laughter of Mel Brooks, Joan Rivers, Jerry Seinfeld, Billy Crystal, and all the cultural forefathers and foremothers who understood that Jewish life hinges on sharp humor. A prayer and a punchline were both holy acts. And Isaac’s name is our inheritance. Yitzhak. We laugh not because the world is good, but because God insists the world can be good. We laugh because God’s message to Sarah still echoes: “It’s never too late. Surprise! Here’s joy when you least expect it.” In fact, if history has shown us anything, it’s to keep the faith. Make the babies. Tell the joke. We always get the last laugh.

@BriannAtl35 @darrenrovell Yes. Pretty sure I owe someone an air fryer in 2029.

@BriannAtl35 @darrenrovell Every year, we debate whether it's going to be a live or fake Bobby Bonilla tree.

On January 3, 2000, the Mets agreed to pay Bobby Bonilla $29.8 million through 2035 to defer the $5.9 million from his 2000 season. Bad deal? If ownership then, who was invested in Madoff, invested all the money in the S&P 500, they would have around $31 million today.

@sdutKevinAcee We’re going to need a live rooster to take the curse off this season.

Jake Cronenworth took a grounder off the face during BP. Hit him below the nose. He is being evaluated. As of now, he remains in lineup. But … wow.

@brianOonVimeo @ThatEricAlper Freshman year at IU, half of our dorm floor got diarrhea from Red, White and Blue 😃

@ThatEricAlper Really? Lets go back a smidgen further:

If you ever had these, you're old... over.

@naptownbuzz That’s just crazy enough to work!

Contemplating making lemon lime peach crisp this weekend and wondering how that flavor profile would turn out.

@hallofgoodpod That’s awesome. We have a box of our kids’ jerseys my wife has been saving for either them or grandkids. But we’re a house divided and she and the boys are Cardinals fans. So I’ve been secretly replacing them with kid sized Padres jerseys.

My mom just sent me a picture of the first baseball jersey I ever got when I was eight years old. I can’t believe she found it. I never thought I’d see it again.

@DevineGospel Nooooooo!

Ryan Wideman on the 2030 Marlins after we trade him for 1.5 year of SANDY

@SleeperPadres @ByRobertMurray @SleeperMLB @SleeperOrioles How many times have we heard "(insert name) will solve the Padres catcher problem for the near future" over the last 10 years?

The Padres may target Baltimore Orioles Catcher Adley Rutschman at the deadline, per @ByRobertMurray. Rutschman would solve the Padres problem at catcher for the near future. He’s a two-time All-Star who has been very good in his early MLB career. This season, Rutschman has hit .267 with eight home runs and 36 RBI.

@Super70sSports Deluxe!

You know, the police never recovered a body after that 50-year storm … 👉 super70ssportsstore.com/products/bodhi…

@MLB The Reaper in space! May the force be with the Padres!

The Force is strong with this signed ball from Mason Miller 🔥 Repost and reply for a chance to win it! Experience Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu only in theaters May 22

100+ mystery and suspense titles you can download for free in May: books.bookfunnel.com/maydaymystery/…

@luxemiaa My last @AmericanAir flight I was moved without being told until I scanned my boarding pass. They handed me a paper pass and I was moved from an aisle to a window. Gate agents enabling these passengers and expecting us to go along with it.

@Kurt_Steiner In the northeast corner of Indiana, you will find a surprising number of Padres fans. Fort Wayne has been a Padres affiliate for 27 years.

One of the odder American maps.

@MLB @Padres Deluxe!

San Diego, you’re not going to want to miss this giveaway 🫶 We are giving away a new Padres City Connect jersey just for you! Repost and reply for your chance to win!

I don't know what kind of day you're having, but I just got into an argument with my dog over the band Ratt.