Jennifer Heiter

Last week bacon in the pocket of his shorts. Yup. No ziploc or napkin. Yesterday, a plastic container of mud and worms in his lunchbox. #lifewithlincoln

This mug should be placed in Christmas stockings of educators across America. #Edchat

I just saw a recent photo of Bill Gates. He has liver spots and looks like Woody Allen's long-lost twin. What the heck?!?

I feel like I'm watching America's funeral. #debate

When Trump says it's just "locker room talk," he's defending the very culture that normalizes sexual assaults on women.

Trump: stop sniffing into the mic!

The polls. All of them

Weird that Prince was found in his elevator. I guess he punched a higher floor. So bummed.

I woke up this AM wondering if I watched Downton Abbey or The Love Boat last night.

My first crown. Apparently it takes $800 of dental work to declare, "I'm OLD!"

Lady Gaga sang the red white and blue out of that! And love the platforms.#SuperBowl

Are they booing Tom Brady?

Cutest toothless Irish fan! #irishvision

I'm getting so old, I'm going to buy a selfie stick just so I can read my cell phone.

Why I can't sleep at night...Donald Trump winning and redesigning the White House china. Eating salad on a glossy pic of that hair.

Why I can't sleep at night...Donald Trump winning and redecorating the White House.

#ILA15 "Every kid I know that has a book in their hands they find irresistible--will find time to read it." @pennykittle

Southern Californian golfers looked up in the sky yesterday and cried, "Fore(d)!"

Yesssss. SNL parodied the dumbest commercials EVER: the Lincoln Matthew McConaughey one. Hysterical. #snl