Jeremy Martin

If you didn’t lose faith in your leadership today, did you even work?

A letter to my employer: I don’t want cake, I WANT A FUCKING RAISE.

Hey! Need a fun and casual workout? Try walking to a park and back home, only to realize you left your keys at the park!

I’ll hold the door for anyone, but please don’t dead ass sprint towards me to prevent me from waiting the 3 seconds

Just out here reminding people that Black Eyed Peas had a version of a song called “Let’s Get Retarded” on the radio and then tried to erase it from existence

To the man talking during the Van Gogh exhibit, I hope you lose your tongue, sir.

@Jes_Jung I hope A Letter To Ashley by Your Broken Hero didn’t sneak past ya

Fort Wayne WALMART shoppers are a different species, I’ll tell ya

Just got stung in the neck by a yellow jacket. Summer starts early this year, folks 🐝

The amount of people at this university that turn the handle of a bathroom door without knocking is astounding; fuck!

A co-worker who is in my animal room told me she was listening to Ring Around The Rosie by Korn. I really don’t know how to feel about it

@t_llex Please know you can e-file Ohio taxes free on Ohio’s tax website! I learned a few things myself this tax season. Do not let turbo tax or any other program charge you for state e-file

You are scam artists. You are crooks. You deserve to be behind bars and you know it

How tf did I get mustard on my winter coat?

@t_llex I can get you a brochure if you want 🤣

Bruh I’m such a pro at saying tomatillo, thanks California

Shout out to the shuttle driver playin the smooth jazz this morning

Sometimes we’re so critical of ourselves that we forget to take to easy on everyone else. Don’t do that.

@t_llex If you’re not a huge fan of that ketchup (I wasn’t) I recommend this one you can get at Kroger

You need a push cart for your fuckin disc golf discs?