Jessica Clark

let it be noted that I will be having a Sad White Girl Looking Out the Window Day in respect to a new Noah Kahan album. Please respect my privacy at this time

@KeruboSk only all the time

I was telling someone the other day, “Sometimes I get so excited while reading that my eyes jump ahead and skip whole paragraphs, and I have to make myself go back and reread what I missed.” They looked at me and said, “No one does that.” Please tell me I’m not the only one 😭😩

@callmeparanoia “Maybe!!”

so what’s your favorite vocal stim from heated rivalry?

@bluewmist Bubble bath, booktok

Sober people (no alcohol, nicotine, drugs, etc ever), what is your end of day or weekend "wind-down"?

INTERVIEWER (reading resume): Uh, under "Skills" here you have "Knew who Mrs. Doubtfire was right away." ME: It was Robin Williams. It was their dad. INTERVIEWER (whispering to colleague): This is our guy.

I'm currently monitoring every situation on the planet . Prettty bad

I feel bad for that monkey but I lowkey have to focus on myself right now

Opening the microwave door one second early because you don't need all that hooting and hollering.

@Thebiglade k.

I need a calm but coldest response to “it's over.”

As someone who grew up in a conservative community that was always mad and offended, it's such a relief to just get to enjoy art and celebrate community.

The weather is conspiring against the ice cream eating agenda but we will not be silenced.

@wwxwashere listen, she got hit by a car and then developed pneumonia, I can't complain

may you heal from that fanfic that never got updated 😔

@sultryswipe This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen

amazing jelly bed

well I'm off to A03

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah”

@swiftbunnies the royal reception is going to be CHAOS

Jason Kelce’s best man speech is going to be rip-roaringly batshit crazy and breathtakingly beautiful.

you want me to work? taylor swift just told the world she is engaged to be married and you want me to work?

@josiahhughes I appreciate these boundaries and also I don't want to do any mental work so I will be cooperating at this time.

current pop "girlies" if they were drinks: Sabrina Carpenter = espresso Clairo = green tea a.k.a. matcha if you can think of others, please keep them to yourself. this is my project and i'd like to add to the list on my own time.

@_missprettylady No deal.

Don’t fight me on this… Yall girlies who are all under 5’3 need to accept that yall need to get with them 5’9 and unders save the talls for us 5’6 and abovers Thanks. - Management

@shookswiftie armchair expert and good mythical morning, please :)

please may we be entering into an era of taylor doing hot ones, chicken shop date, ladbible snack wars, vanity fair lie detector test, hosting SNL again, puppy interview, kitten interview, answer web's most searched questions etc 🙏