Jordy Crypto

Over the weekend: - 76ers came back down 3-1 and beat the Celtics on the road in game 7 - RJ Barrett hit a game winning 3 to send the series a game 7 - Lakers beat the Rockets in 6 - Pistons came back down 25 to force game 7 and complete a 3-1 comeback This is the topic on first take….

i've turned down sex to watch a lebron game. sex is always on the table but there's only so many lebron games left. common sense

Realistically speaking LeBron and the Lakers will get swept, but IF he pulls this off… It’ll be better than: The Moon Landing Invention of the Internet Wright brothers first flight Construction of the Great Pyramid of Giza Theory of Relativity First successful heart transplant

If Bron pulls this off, we not gonna be talking Jordan vs LeBron debate anymore It’ll be Jesus vs LeBron, and it’ll be closer than a lot of yall would like to admit

Might snag a fat girl off hinge and put her on peptides Basically like mining Bitcoin in 2010

Why are people attacking Jokic’s legacy? As a lifelong LeBron fan I thought it was better to lose before the finals?????

I thought the GOAT debated ended after LeBron did this?

I promise you this is worse than 2011 bron this nigga lost to fucking dosumnu and mcdaniels not Dirk

Mitchell Robinson’s IG story to Dyson Daniels OMG 😂😂😂 (@MrBuckBuckNBA)

Reacting to LeBron's comments on MJ caused a GOAT DEBATE to break out in Gil's Arena 🚨 "It ain't about changing people's opinions it's about what's right! If it was about personal opinion then I'd just put Kobe, but what is right is that it's LeBron!" @NickSwagyPYoun

Realizing blowing a 3-0 lead wouldn’t hurt Bron’s legacy because only the Finals count

@LanceLukens Ambire 100%

What’s your favorite Web3 wallet and why? 1. Coinbase Wallet 2. Rabby Wallet 3. Safe 4. MetaMask 5. Phantom 6. Trust Wallet 7. Ledger

@GoingParabolic My cholesterol went from 230 to 150

RETATRUTIDE IS ABSOLUTELY SENDING CHOLESTEROL TO THE SHADOW REALM 🔥 Triple agonist just dropped a nuke on lipids and it’s not even Phase 3 finished yet. 48 weeks in and the numbers are looking PARABOLIC: • Non-HDL cholesterol down 26.9% • ApoB (atherogenic killer) down 24.2% • Triglycerides -40.6% • ApoC-III -38% • Big triglyceride - obliterated • Small dense LDL - obliterated HDL particle size improving, lipoprotein insulin resistance score dropping… this thing is cleaning house on the entire atherogenic profile.

Retatrutide trial results are straight-up insane: •86% liver fat reduction •72% prediabetes reversal •41% completely off BP meds •14 mmHg blood pressure drop •Raises resting metabolic rate It crushes appetite and makes you burn more calories at rest. One compound. All of that. Mind officially blown. This is next-level. 🔥

En 2020 LeBron a éliminé les Rockets d’Harden et Westbrook et envoyé tout une franchise en reconstruction. 6 ans plus tard, les jeunes issus (littéralement) de cette reconstruction sont venus l’affronter et c’est le vieux de 41 ans qui leur colle un 3-0 svp je vais m’évanouir

Michael Jordan is closer to whoever is 3rd than he is to LeBron

BREAKING: LeBron James is the only player in the 2026 Playoffs to be Top-10 in total PTS, REB, AST, STL, & FGM. 👑 76 PTS (8th) 👑 29 REB (7th) 👑 26 AST (1st) 👑 6 STL (10th) 👑 27 FGM (9th) At age 41, LeBron has been the best player in the playoffs. 🐐

AN OPEN LETTER OF APOLOGY TO MR. LEBRON RAYMONE JAMES —— Dear LeBron, I come before you today not as a fan, not as a hater, but as a sinner seeking absolution from the only man in recorded history who has ever beaten Father Time in a game of one-on-one, talked trash during it, and then signed Father Time's jersey afterward. I have wronged you, King. I have wronged you grievously. I have wronged you in group chats. I have wronged you in comment sections. I have wronged you in front of friends, that "he's not even top 5 anymore" and I watched the light leave their eyes. I have carried that sin for months. Because tonight I witnessed a SPECTACLE. Tonight I witnessed a MARVEL. Tonight I witnessed a 41-year-old man, in his 23rd professional season, in a league full of genetic freaks who were in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL when he was already an All-Star, casually stroll into Toyota Center and remind an entire generation that the throne was never vacant, we were just looking at the wrong chair. I was a doubter. Say it with me. I. Was. A. Doubter. I said "the minutes are down." I said "the burst isn't there." I said "he's a compiler now" as if compiling 40,000 points is something you can do by accident, as if I could compile a grocery list without forgetting the eggs. I watched this man drop 19-8-13 in Game 1 with EIGHT assists in the FIRST QUARTER and I said "yeah but can he score?" I watched him go 28-8-7 in Game 2, strangle Kevin Durant to three second-half points, get to the line 14 times, throw down a two-handed dunk with 55 seconds left to seal it, and become THE ONLY PLAYER OVER 40 TO LEAD A PLAYOFF RUN IN POINTS, REBOUNDS, AND ASSISTS; and I, a clown, a fool, a man with functioning eyeballs and a functioning brain refusing to speak to each other. I said "let's see Game 3." Well. I saw Game 3. Let's talk about the last 26 seconds. Let's sit with the last 26 seconds. Let's LIVE in the last 26 seconds, because I will be living there, rent-free, for the remainder of my natural life. They were up SIX. Six points. In TWENTY-SIX seconds. That is a possession and change. That is a timeout and a commercial break. That is the window between "I should order food" and "never mind I'll just eat cereal." Toyota Center was SHAKING. The crowd was on its feet. The Rockets bench was already doing that little celebratory bounce, that premature bounce, that bounce that says "we got it." Somewhere in Houston, a man was pulling a Bud Light out of the fridge. Somewhere in Houston, a woman was texting her husband "told you." Somewhere in Houston, a child was being lifted onto his father's shoulders. The building was BOOKED. The building was CLOSED. The building was, as far as every person in it was concerned, a W. And then LeBron looked at the scoreboard. And then LeBron looked at the clock. And then LeBron decided, in what I can only describe as a cosmic, galaxy-brain, Men-in-Black-neuralyzer moment, that this was not going to be how the evening ended for any of us. What followed was not basketball. It was an exorcism. It was a man methodically walking through a haunted house turning off the lights one by one. Steal. Three. Somewhere in there a pass so audacious I started shaking in a hot room. The Toyota Center crowd went from LOUDEST BUILDING IN AMERICA to a library to a funeral to one of those silent monasteries where monks take a vow and only communicate through bells. You could hear the HVAC system. You could hear a Rockets fan, three rows up, whisper "no." You could hear the ghost of Hakeem Olajuwon apologize to the city on LeBron's behalf. Twenty-six seconds. SIX POINTS. He did not close the gap. He did not tie the game. He OPENED the gap in the other direction. He took the Rockets' lead, folded it in half, folded it in half again, and put it in his pocket like a receipt he might need for taxes. The scoreboard operator had to Ctrl+Z his entire career. The broadcast director cut to Austin Reaves on the bench and Austin Reaves had the face of a man who has just seen God and is slightly annoyed he didn't get a heads up. I watched it happen. I watched it happen LIVE. I have to be honest with you, I have to be honest with myself, I have to be honest with the NBA league office, the Basketball Hall of Fame, and God Almighty: I am not okay. I have not been okay since he hit the three. Archaeologists will one day unearth my twitter post and carbon-date it to "the night LeBron did the thing." Six points. Twenty-six seconds. A team, a building, a city, a narrative: dismantled. Not beaten. DISMANTLED. Taken apart piece by piece like IKEA furniture in reverse. The Rockets did not lose that game. They were disassembled on live television and shipped back to the warehouse with a note that said "return to sender, 41-year-old in aisle." So here, formally, in writing, with my full legal name attached and a witness present, is my apology: I, Jathin Pranav Singaraju, of sound mind and recently shattered worldview, do hereby and forever APOLOGIZE to LeBron Raymone James Sr. for every slanderous, disrespectful, hot-taking, podcast-brained, Twitter-poisoned, bad-faith, Jordan-stan-adjacent, ring-culture-addled, "he had help," "he left Cleveland," "he left Cleveland again," "the Heatles," "the block was a travel," "Kawhi did it with less," "MJ went 6-0," "but the 73-win Warriors," "but the 3-1 lead," "but load management," "but the minutes restriction," "but the Lakers are a play-in team," "but he can't close anymore," "but he's a regular season guy now," "but but but" — take that I have ever uttered, thought, liked, retweeted, or silently agreed with in my heart. I renounce them. All of them. I renounce them in this life and, should the technology become available, the next. I will never doubt you again. Not in this series. Not in this playoff run. Not in this career. Not in any GOAT debate, at any bar, in any group chat, at any wedding, at any funeral, at any deposition. If you come back next year at 42 averaging a 30-point triple-double I will not be surprised. If you come back at 45 coaching yourself I will not be surprised. If you are inducted into the Hall of Fame and then UN-inducted because you are somehow still playing I will not be surprised. If you erase a six-point deficit in twenty-six seconds again next week, on a Tuesday, against a random team, for no reason, just to remind us. I will not be surprised. The bar is on the floor. The bar is underground. The bar is in the Mariana Trench. The bar has achieved enlightenment and moved on. I am sorry, King. I am so, so sorry. I was wrong. The throne was never empty. Long live the King.

Lakers win by 4. Bronny scored 5 points. Lakers literally do not win this game without LeBron having sex.

. @KingJames shordy ru f*ing kidding me right now? U gone beat Father Time? #playoffs