rejected cornflake

Having adhd is great because it's basically just, like, I'm annoying enough that it's considered a disability

All I want for my birthday is a UPS strike and baby, I think I'm gonna get it 💝

Office guys love to get down to brass tacks

The Kens roost upside down in the trees at night like fruit bats

When we gonna get a hindenberg movie

Sorry I can't come to work today I'm having a personal emergency (I just found out that The First Cut Is the Deepest by Sheryl Crow is by Cat Stevens)

I am begging harrisburg to be anything other than a swamp for even a single day. Not one day in the forecast with humidity below 50%, please my plants are dying

Finally got my huge beautiful baby into her forever home 💕

There's an alternate universe where LoTR is directed by Guillermo del Toro and Pippin is played by Charlie Day

Serious question: how do I (or we, collectively,) get @TouchTunes to add john cage's 4'33 to its library?

The purpose of life is to live it, and the only waste of time is alienated labor 🤸

ADHD money saving tips: -forget your wallet every time you leave the house -make a deal w yourself that if you do a task you can have a treat, then never do the task -go on the internet to buy something and become so overwhelmed by the choices that you decide to live without it

Being subjected to "Dude looks like a lady" during pride month, I'd like to report a hate crime

It would be hard to identify a term I hate more than "she shack"

When Brian eno said "I am the wheel/I am the turning" I felt that big time

Sorry I can't come in today, my history of contracting the deadly virus we made no meaningful effort to prevent has made me more vulnerable to the increasing airborne particulates resulting from manmade climate change, which we have also made no meaningful effort to prevent

Sorry I can't come to work, I saw, through the haze of the poisoned air, a heron, bobbing for poisoned fish in the poisoned waters, and I have become inconsolable

Scrolling Twitter in a portapotty hits different

Sorry I'm late for work I was listening to my body and being gentle with myself

We're not alive as long as there's a prison guard still breathing