Joe Ivory

@matthewwalker28 I think Rooney just needs more time. Lots of time. Many, many years of time.

@joeivory All we need is for Blues to get promoted with our billionaire owners and world-class manager and Birmingham could soon be the footballing epicentre of Europe.

Have that Arteta, you preening melt.

@pongowaring Too much fuck, too much what.

@joeivory I know, like, fuck?

Fucking hell, Villa. Like, actual, fucking hell #avfc

Good ebening.

@stewpottery @matthewwalker28 Mainly, though, Emery out, never liked him, club is a joke, sack the board.

@joeivory @matthewwalker28 No lies detected 🫥

@stewpottery @joeivory My WiFi is down. Do either of you know how the Newcastle-Villa game ended up?

@matthewwalker28 ‘My first order of business: take sole charge of inflating the balls.’

"After swapping sugars and nightshades for a diet rich in legumes and electrolytes, Jutkiewicz and Hogan went on to spearhead the Blues' attack until the 2034/35 promotion season."

HA HA HA HA HA! What the fuck is this load of chutney?

Southern Water loses roughly 100m litres of water each day through leaks and poor infrastructure

@ABGuitartech Ooh. What’s 50s style wiring?

Lefty Ibanez AS93 - frets dressed, rewired for 50’s style wiring (which as usual I forgot to photograph) and serviced. Thanks to Paul! #ibanez #ibanezguitars #ibanezas93 #lefty #lefthanded #lefthandedguitar #lefthandedguitarist #guitartech #guitartechnician #guitarrepair

Blur accidentally form a new advertising agency startup with Jo Whiley.

@matthewwalker28 @PetroNicolaides 🤣🤣🤣

@PetroNicolaides True. I heard this woman from Glasgow won a £29m contract and a yacht.

Been doing this lottery for at least the years now.

@matthewwalker28 Haven’t got a box of adaptors. I’ve got four boxes of adaptors.

Do you have a box of AC adaptors in your house or is life too short?

I imagine this is a tough read for Chelsea fans but for me it was absolutely fucking splendid. theguardian.com/football/2023/…

@matthewwalker28 All tomato-based sauces should be cooked shirtless, I think. And trouserless too if you're expecting guests.

Don't cook a Bolognese in your new jumper.

Please help Bill Laswell gofund.me/473e654e

Benzema. Lovely, beardy Benzema.

@matthewwalker28 Jesus fucking wept. (Assuming he’s got a weeping permit.)

@joeivory Parking 'services'. Apparently, there's no such thing as a Carers' Parking Permit. Ok, what's this thing you sent me that I've been trying to print out for the last half an hour? Oh, right, I'll have to email you?!? 🤬💥

Today I have been dealing with: Printers. Drivers. Permits. Parking restrictions. Bureaucrats.