john "oomf" smith

man I love cunttttttttttttt

@bing_fingus_ Sounds like a Kogan version of my Kogan format with a similar premise

Just thought of a really good joke format where you call someone or something a temu version to indicate inferior quality, please don't overuse it though.

Need to take a step back from twitter for a while, however I’ll still be active on the NYT games app

@gnostic_bf They installed a 5G tower near my house and I started saying stuff like this

Hope this guy's on a government list

Outtake from when I couldn’t stop doing an American accent last night

Teaching my three year old niece to say “I thought it was a fantastic meditation on grief” every time we finish an episode of Bluey

Can’t stop doing an American accent now it’s just so goofy

How it sounds to me when an American says cunt in a tweet

@lewiphone I liked it when I saw it in person but a lot of it feels like a big wank for media personalities

Used to hate going to a friend’s house and all they had was dog shit like this. Do your parents not respect you enough to buy you a real game

Threatening to get the baby’s ears pierced if she doesn’t have an abortion

You don’t really hear about people visiting the big banana with their family during the school holidays anymore

@betweeenjobs Base it on the results of this game

Should I wear a better outfit in Wollongong or Newcastle?

These rules are getting out of hand. Next they’ll tell me I’ve got to start shutting the door too

Went a little crazy and got a non-white Kallax unit 🤪

@Kong_The_Monke My dream job is to make the fake music that appears in tv and movies like if a character makes a song that’s in it for like 30 seconds

@johnoomf been waiting for you to drop another lil song. just beautiful stuff. really speaks to me. Your music really tells a story in such a small amount of time, drop an album

Legally I can’t show you the joke but rest assured that it was pertinent to the training and demonstrated an understanding of and engagement with our new work area

Now that I’m 30 my jokes in Microsoft Teams video conference chats during work training do better numbers than my tweets