JoJo Speredelozzi

uri in 2019: look we built this beautiful new engineering building for you! uri in 2020: it’s illegal to go inside buildings

caleb: “ya know ppl that like. throw up every time they drink? i just think they don’t have enough fortitude”

my arch nemesis is pierre baguette (french, gluten)

This deadly t-shirt was made in #TeeKO. Get it for your torso: games.jackbox.tv/artifact/TeeKO…

Gilderoy Lockhart is the definition of rizz

pokémon spoilers (based on me watching caleb play): the robot professor commits acts of ecoterrorism on the pokémon’s??? brutal

@calebhines0 roy oza thinks sheep and cows r the same animal

bella (pointing): wait who’s that guy over there? i think i recognize him from somewhere me: THATS FUCKING JABBA BITCH bella: from??… men in black!

caleb: it’s really impressive that you’ve never broken character me: that’s just? my personality????

me: this is quite possibly the worst wine i’ve ever dranken ellie: then stop drinking it me: no ❤️

mentos>>>>>>tictacs

in french whip cream is “shawty” (according to the french)

This unsettles me more than I thought it would

watching someone get interrogated on a tv show and they had EEG going for some reason but they put them on so shittily. my man idk what signals u were trying to get but there is absolutely zero contact between the skin and the electrode, any signal u get is only gonna be noise

“if i get mercury poisoning, it will be a great example of bioaccumulation” i think as i follow up all you can eat sushi yesterday with a tuna fish sandwich now

all good ideas become bad ideas once bureaucracy is done with them

organizer of this dinner just came up to our table to let us know that we could order more wine if we want to just for us to have to tell him that we are already almost done with our 3rd bottle (he was telling us cuz all the other tables were just finishing their first)

actually i passed. C’s get degrees baby

im about to fail this italian medical imaging exam but at least the classroom has a nice view of vesuvius

they just put whatever on netflix now. this movie’s premise was george washington, but with chainsaws for hands.

never have i felt peer pressure to drink as much as when i go out to dinner with the portuguese