Jovani

Money has been a little tight lately. But at the end of my life, when I’m sitting on my yacht, am I going to be thinking about how much money I have? No, I’m going to be thinking about how many friends I have. I mean I have a yacht, so I obviously did pretty well money wise.

You’re in her dms, I’m using all her good nespresso pods and getting in trouble for it

And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say – that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day.

You know you’re a basic bitch when your Starbucks order doesn’t have a name and it’s just a list of ingredients

« I can’t believe you jacked off with my cat in the room »

ISO: insomnia buddy to share memes with between the hours of 2am and 4:20am

Mentally I’m her

Nadine Coyle’s Passport but it’s performed by an Indie Pop Band

put them on real friends of weho

its so easy to find the full movie of coraline in high quality on any platform. exhibit a: twitter.com/xSirLean/statu…

Me on a first date: ‘so what’s your average walking speed?’

The biggest plot twist since The Sixth Sense.

I’m on Smoko. LEAVE ME ALONE

Sorry babe trailer park boys stays ON during sex

Wanting to go celebrate my friends birthday < respecting other peoples anxieties

i spent 2 hours curating a twitter blue screenshot storyline for my parents so here u go, for your own offline friends that want to have fun: DAY 1 – ARRIVAL

And my flight was awful, thanks for asking

Last weekend, gf and I went to halloween house party One of her coworkers was there, and he was openly making passes at her. Guys, if you are going to date attractive women, the reality is that they are going to get hit on. Here's a thread on how I handled the situation 👇👇

“Am I in my Byronic character era or do I just need therapy”

Insomnia, am I gonna sleep tonight? *sung to the beat of Rihanna’s hit song Disturbia*