The Joplin Toad

TOAD NEWS: Local big box theater breaks remaining seats, lowers bathroom-hand-dryer temperatures by another 30%, and prices individual tickets at $73.50 in last desperate show of power

Our baristas are the only group of humans who could easily stage a coup and conquer this city. They know your drink. They know your secrets. Tip them well. #baristasofjoplin #baristasruletheworld #joplintoad

I’m glad Kevin was left at home. The uncle was a touchhhhhh heavy handed, but the kid needed a wake up call. 7/?

That last tweet was the 5/? #sorry 6/?

We’re having a meeting of Toad minds to think through all of the awesome stuff we’re going to do in 2023…so let’s do a live tweet/thread/etc 1/?

We might do a parade float. Like, in a parade and everything. It will obviously be TUBAS. Because it’s in a parade. #callbacktoapreviousthread 7/?

“It’s time to get that growth checked out.” Might be a recurring feature! Keep your eyes peeled!

@KimmyR1987 Yes’m, that’d be the one.

Shriners had an “oriental music” float That and the honest-to-goodness Confederate float…. I mean Sheesh

Yellow Jacket marching band from Lebanon issues band, marching, and flying insect challenge to @MeLikeBees Listen to their new album to hear the result.

March it again, bandoleer

Tow trucks now. Like 7 in a row

Knock knock Who’s there? MARCHING MUSIC FROM BAND ON FOOT

Marching band: 16 Everything is marching bands, marching bands are everything.

Spook house floats now Someone growling and drooling the whole time #commitment

Marching band count: 15 probably TUBA COUNT: 3 There’s hope yet