forever formally known as THAT BITCH

Idk I feel like I’m spiraling again. So I guess day two of crying all day coming up…

People don’t treat me the way they treat people they care about.. but maybe I’m not supposed to notice. Maybe I’m supposed to pretend.

Atp my weekend has been horrible. I want to be free of feeling this sad.

It’s been so fucking hard lately but I guess I’m just supposed to need nothing. I’m exhausted.

Cuz I can do the drugs and party and drink the night away when it’s time to have fun but why am I only good for this.. why can’t I ask for more? Why don’t people want to give me more?

I want friends who will sit with me when I’m sad. Who understand when I’m uncomfortable I shut down. Who don’t expect our relationship to consist of small talk.. people who will reach out to me when they haven’t heard from me and ask me how I am.. and care about the answer..

Living in Chicago has been so fucking lonely.

What is real friendship anyway…. Cuz no one here treats me like they actually care about me but I guess. My ideas of friendship might be too optimistic.

Dating is uncomfortable af.

These bitches won’t fight me about it though. Just social media bs. I’m not being diplomatic about it anymore

I’m so sad and it doesn’t matter to anyone. I try to do something that feels aligned with myself and everyone uses that as an opportunity to try to break me…what’s the point in all of this.

I just want to cease to exist as a person honestly. I hate everyone.

Uh huh… I look good af. Someone needed to see this.

@BemLeNoir That’s @MThefunnyone & she really is the funny one 😂😂

Omg I look so hawt!!

Lmaoooooooooooo I’m sick

I’ve always viewed myself as not creative. This year said it’s just cuz I had the wrong medium 🖤

What I’m building doesn’t exist rn. It just doesn’t. Idc what anyone says because once they see it, they’ll know.

It’s all about the bigger picture

Lemme go take some more anxiety meds before I shake away