Eston Mwaura

DEAR MEN, If your wife has joined a running club but you haven't, SHONOKA. I need to tell you something important. There’s a permanent member of your family that nobody introduced properly, please allow me to. And I need you to sit down first. You’ve seen she wakes up at 4:30am on a Saturdays? Not for you. Not for the children. Not for church. For a 5am run in Karura Forest with a man called Brian who has the body of a Greek statue and the energy of someone who has never eaten ugali in his life. Brian organizes these runs. Brian sets the pace. Brian decides who runs next to whom. You need to understand what Brian looks like to understand why this is a problem. Brian is 34. Brian runs 30 marathons a year. Brian has never had a beer belly. Brian has never come home at midnight smelling of Tusker and fallen asleep mid-sentence. Brian wakes up every morning and does things to his body that your body has completely forgotten are possible. Your wife sees Brian every Saturday at 5am in Karura. Then on Wednesdays in Ngong. Then on the Vienna Loop in Karen on the last Sunday of the month. She definitely has missed your family lunches. She has not missed Brian once this entire year. Now. The run ends at 8am. 21 kilometres done. Her legs are tired. Her muscles are tight. She needs stretching. She needs a massage. She needs somebody to hold her legs and work out the tension from the inside of her thighs that 21 kilometres of road have created. Brian knows a place. Brian always knows a place. You need to see what these women wear when they run to understand what Brian is looking at for 21 kilometres from behind before the stretching even begins. The institution of marriage is being dismantled one kilometre at a time on the streets of Kilimani. Now here is the part that should make you put your phone down and think. Your wife just turned 40. The children are done. Three is enough. That chapter is closed. She has looked at her life and made a quiet decision that nobody announced. She has discovered running. She has discovered health. She has discovered Brian. And while you are home on Saturday morning sleeping until 10am, scratching yourself, watching football highlights from Thursday, she is on kilometre 18 of a 21 kilometre run next to a man who has not stopped moving since 1974. She comes home glowing. You think it is the exercise. It is not only the exercise. Look at all the Marathons done last year, they all had women signing up in numbers that broke the registration system. Thousands of women. Suddenly everyone is running. Everyone has discovered fitness. Everyone in Nairobi has a running club, a running group, a running WhatsApp that is on silent when they get home. You were not invited to the WhatsApp group. Brian runs it. As an elder I must warn you. The running clubs of Nairobi are doing more damage to marriages than any bar, any office, any late night ever did. Because she is not sneaking. She is training. She is healthy. She is happy. She is glowing every Saturday by 9am. And you are still in bed. We either lace up and join these women on that road at 5am or we accept that Brian is now a permanent member of this family that nobody introduced properly. Don't say the servant of the Lord didn't warn you. 😐

Tunde was not a bad engineer. He was one of the sharpest in that office. Had never posted anything publicly in his life. Believed deeply that if you do good work, the right people will notice. He wasn’t wrong to believe that. He was just wrong about who was watching.

This is how quick a toddler can disappear from sight.. in just a few seconds! 😱

We now have evidence that gentle parenting doesn’t work. Here’s an uncomfortable truth about parenting no one wants to say out loud: The data is not kind to gentle parenting. According to teenagers, strict curfews. strict bedtimes, screen limits, device drop off times, dedicated homework blocks, and sleepover restrictions IMPROVE higher relationship quality. And yes, parenting difficulty goes up. Of course it does. Leadership is harder than appeasement. For the past decade we have been sold a watered down, Instagram friendly version of “gentle parenting” that often collapses into boundary avoidance, endless negotiation and emotional processing without enforcement. Parents terrified of saying no because they do not want to rupture connection. But connection without authority is not connection. It is dependency. When parents impose structure, the relationship improves. Teenagers report better parent child relationship quality in homes with curfews and rules. Younger kids report better relationships in homes with screen limits and bedtimes. Even device drop off times correlate positively. Why? Because structure is not cruelty. Structure is love made visible. A bedtime says: your brain matters more than your entertainment. A screen limit says: your dopamine system is not fully developed and I will guard it until it is. A curfew says: your safety matters more than your social standing. That is not authoritarianism. That is caring. Boundaries create friction. Friction creates growth. The parent absorbs the short term discomfort so the child does not pay the long term cost. Children do not experience well calibrated limits as rejection. They experience them as stability. The human brain craves predictability. Predictability reduces anxiety. Reduced anxiety strengthens attachment. That is why relationship quality goes up. Notice something else in the data. The strongest effects are around time structure. Bedtime. Homework. Devices. Outside play. These are environmental constraints. They scaffold executive function. The winning formula is not tyranny. It is high warmth plus high structure. The modern failure mode is high warmth plus low structure. That is just abdication of responsibility wrapped in empathy. Children need leadership, not negotiation. They need adults who can tolerate their anger. They need boundaries that do not move every time emotions spike. They need someone whose prefrontal cortex is fully myelinated. The harder path produces the stronger bond. Because when a child feels that someone is strong enough to hold the line, they relax. And relaxed nervous systems build durable relationships.

Native Android is becoming the COBOL of the mobile era. 15 years in the trenches tell me one thing: if you aren't 'Vibe Coding' with Flutter and AI in 2026, you aren't a Senior Dev anymore. You are a maintainer of the past. Adapt or become a legacy cost. 🐙

The EU has voted on whether only biological women can become pregnant. 200 voted in favor. 233 voted against. We are being governed by an EU that cannot even bring itself to affirm biological reality. The whole thing is drifting. It feels like watching a slow-motion collapse - derailment toward the edge. Maybe it has to fall apart before it can be rebuilt properly. Until then… good luck to all of us.

as a developer, what's the best operating system for programming ?