Zach Evans

Happy opening night to all who celebrate

I'm at the Dallas airport drinking some bourbon, and two patrons are flirting. The air is electric

This afternoon I fixed the carburetor on my lawn mower and then fixed the throw on my snare drum. This is the kind of hard work satisfaction Hank Hill talks about

A steal

John Haliburton talk your shit

@Jeopardy @WheelofFortune

🚨 THIS IS NOT A DRILL 🚨 You asked and we listened. The new seasons of #Jeopardy! and @WheelofFortune will be available to stream next-day on Hulu, Hulu on Disney+, and Peacock this fall.

NOTHING GREATER IN THE WORLD THAN NBA PLAYOFF BASKETBALL

Overrated

@ColeClaybourn Pivot to mobile video impending

Guess it's time once again for Journalism to regroup and come up with a new strategy.

@stereogum KISS have reportedly fired longtime touring drummer for "wearing makeup"

The Who have reportedly fired longtime touring drummer Zak Starkey for "overplaying" stereogum.com/2304418/the-wh…

Rival poets in 19 BC

The description rivals Hemingway's baby shoes classified ad. Tells a whole story

Panama City fb marketplace is everything I imagined and everything I feared

One of one

Like new

The bottom line: A COVID relief program meant to save struggling arts venues became a windfall for wealthy musicians. They spent millions in taxpayer money on luxury hotels, private jets, parties & million-dollar bonuses to themselves. Full story here: businessinsider.com/lil-wayne-chri…

It's me I'm old

@theesarahtonin and no matter how quickly you pick them off your bread is permanently tainted

lics put pickles on top of my grilled cheese… and what if that was my last straw

@ClutchPoints The finals

ESPN and TNT Sports officially announce 'Inside the NBA' deal, which will start with the 2025-2026 season 🙌 The studio team of Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, Charles Barkley and Shaq will be part of: - Opening Week - Christmas Day - ABC games (after January 1) - Playoffs, including the NBA Finals