JESSIE

I love women because they are either thinking about skincare or political revolution

I’m in my scorned woman era hope everyone is excited as I am!

In 20 days The President-elect will be sentenced on 34 felony counts. What a role model for my kids.

“The forest was shrinking but the trees kept voting for the axe, for the axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood he was one of them.”

His own Vice President will not be voting for him. His former Chief of Staff will not. His former Sec of Defense will not. His former Nat Security Advisor will not. His former Joint Chiefs Chair will not. His former AG will not. Because he’s dangerous and unfit for office.

“Kamala is going to raise taxes” Buddy you make 50k a year, she is NOT talking about you lmao

those of you that don’t use cruise control I’m curious why do you hate me?

@peacock I sent you a DM 👀

@kacjhickner Hey there! We’d like to potentially include your tweet in our upcoming marketing campaign. If you would like the opportunity to participate, please DM us so we can send you more information. Thanks!

I’ve never related more to a fictional character more than I do with Donkey from Shrek. Talks too much, sings during sentences for no reason, a little annoying, but for some reason you still let them hang around.

Things that did _not_ kill kids today: - a renaissance sculpture - a film about Ruby Bridges - drag queen story time - the word ‘tampon’ - critical race theory - woke banks - saying that Rosa Parks was Black - gender-affirming care - ‘The Bluest Eye’ What did: -an AR-f––ing-15

I will die on this hill: the beige wood thing is an aesthetic for your Instagram, there’s no evidence it’s actually good for babies (who actually need high contrast and color!) Some moms just don’t want annoying Fisher Price toys ruining their living room, but just say that!

every time i watch one of those Architect digestion or whatever the fuck home tours i get a visceral amounts of jealousy

when my parents would carry me inside after I pretended to fall asleep in the car

what I like about hippos being the most dangerous animal in the world: they’re vegetarian. not even omnivores. they don’t want to eat you, they just hate you. and I think that’s a beautiful thing

Nobody: Older women on public transportation looking at what you’re doing on your phone:

Why does HGTV always choose couples that are on the brink of divorce to go house hunting with?

good morning do any billionaires have a current urge to save humanity now? or still no?

everyone knows that emotionally the day ends at 330

I just answered emails while I swang on a swing at my local park. Is this what adulthood is like?