Kaptain

What is this!!!😂😂 Nyash Asiwaju #olosho FEAR WOMEN Nigerian VCs #GetWetAbuja

you understand?

What phone camera is this?

After getting Pope Francis's luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb. “Excuse me, Your Holiness,” says the driver, “Would you please take your seat so we can leave?” “Well, to tell you the truth,” says the Pope, “They never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today.” "I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?!” protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning. “Who's going to tell?” says the Pope with a smile. Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 km. "Please slow down, Your Holiness," pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. "Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!” moans the driver. The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. “I need to talk to the Chief,” he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph. “So bust him,” says the Chief. “I don't think we want to do that. He's really important,” said the cop. The Chief exclaimed, “All the more reason!” “No, I mean really important,”said the cop with a bit of persistence. The Chief then asked, “Who do you have there, the mayor?” Cop: “Bigger.” Chief: “A senator?” Cop: “Bigger.” Chief: “The President?” Cop: “Bigger.” “Well,” said the Chief, “who is it?” Cop: “I think it's God!” The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, “What makes you think it's God?” Cop: “His chauffeur is the Pope!”

It was around 2016 I was going to PH from Ughelli when we met the RAPID RESPONSE TEAM (RRT) on a stop & search. They were searching & when it was turn I said I will search myself they should not put their hands in my bag & pocket. Officer got furious, asked who I was, I told

Be like na former F1 drivers dey drive Dangote refinery tankers cus Omo eh

Let me do a breakdown for you. Number of Students: 360 Tuition per Student per Session 6m Total Revenue: 2.1 billion. Lead Teachers 18 @ 700k - 151m annually. Assistant Teachers 18 @ 350k -75m annually Specialist Teachers 6 @ 600k monthly 43m a year. Total Academic Staff Cost 270m. Head of School: 18m annually Vice Principal: 12m annually Bursar: 9m annually HR/Admin:7m annually Front Desk (2 staff): 9m annually Total Admin Cost: 56m. Cleaners: 10m annually Security: 12m annually Drivers: 9m annually Maintenance: 7m annually Total Support Staff Cost: 40m Annual Rent Premium Location 250m. Diesel & Power: 60m Internet & Technology: 15m Repairs & Maintenance: 30m Teaching Materials: 40m Insurance: 20m Total Operations Cost: 165m Digital Marketing: 20m Events/Open Days: 15m PR & Media: 15m Brand Collateral: 10m Total Marketing Cost: 60m Financial Summary Revenue 2.1billion. Academic Staff 270m Administration56m Support Staff40m Rent250m Operations 165m Marketing60m Feeding180m Estimated Profit1.1billion.

There’s an unfair advantage to become crazily successful that many people simply neglect. Think about this: Herbert Wigwe & Aig founded Access Bank. Before that they were directors at GTB. Before Moniepoint became a unicorn, the founders had worked at another unicorn called Interswitch. Before Steve Jobs started apple, he had interned at HP. Coincidence? No. Exposure is an unfair advantage. Do everything you can in this life to get into rooms where your dreams are the norm for the people there. See what is possible. Get into those circles by any legal means necessary. You’ll never be the same. Something will rob off on you.

Introduction to Web3 This is a compilation of threads and posts carefully curated to introduce you to Web3. Repost and bookmark 🙂‍↔️

let me explain some things for us; If you meet someone on the road, the person is naked. Give the person a brand new iPhone. That's a kind gesture does not solve the person's problem. In economics, there is what we call utility and marginal utility. This simply refers to the satisfaction that people derive from consuming a product. Problem is not that there is no money in government. There is money in Nigeria. Don't rush, you have something to learn. During the administration of Governor Nyesom wike in River State, one of his greatest achievements is building 12 flyovers. If you come to a Ebonyi State, Governor David on his own path built his own flyovers. In fact, they even capped it with building an airport. Don't get it wrong, all these things are great projects. But the question is, is it what the people truly need? Allocative efficiency simply means putting your resources where it will create more value. Most of the places that state governors in Nigeria are building flyovers, they are places that if you can be able to build a good roundabout and install quality traffic lights, you've solved the problem of traffic congestion in those areas. Hear it from me, being busy is not equal to being productive. When politicians want to loot state and federal funds, they embark on projects they cannot finish in 8 years. We must go back to the hierarchy of needs and know what is pending our people. I give you an instance. The ongoing construction of coastal highway in Nigeria is a massive project. The coastal highway is estimated to cost 15 trillion Naira. That money that the federal government is investing in that project is enough to revive almost all the federal roads in Nigeria. Connecting all the states. In Ebonyi State today, one of the major projects that governor is doing is building flyover and underground tunnel in the city of Abakaliki. Meanwhile, still in Ebony State, primary schools and secondary schools don't have good buildings. We don't have libraries. We don't have working primary healthcare hospitals. But the governor is spending billions to build underground tunnel. Who is going to go under the tunnel? Before you know it, lights are off the tunnel. People will be there stealing from people. People will even go there to defecate. And recently the governor purchased three aircrafts for Ebonyi Air Project. The question is, how many people from Ebonyi are flying? It was not enough that the previous administration built airport. We did not even talk about how many persons have landed on that airport today. That money used to construct that airport is enough to empower Ebonyi youths. Most people in Ebonyi are hungry. They are poor. A solid foundation is where the people are liberated through eradication of hunger, through quality healthcare, through education. You cannot admit someone who did not go to primary school in a university. When you meet someone hungry, what the person needs is food. When you meet someone that is naked, someone who gets the person a cloth that is sold for 1,000 naira is more valuable to the person than the person that gives the person a new iPhone. That's the principle of needs. But I'm not surprised that the government are doing all these things. If they should invest in where the people need, they may not make enough money. Government to them is about accumulating more money. They need to build more houses. They need to build more hotels. They need to buy more land. So the one that will deliver more money to them is those big gigantic projects, even if it does not have impact on the life of the people. This is what is leading them to committing economic suicides in the name of government. The resultant effect is that people would remain in perpetual poverty, even in abundance. If we the youths don’t wake up in aggression to demand the best, our nation will be like Somalia.

🚨 NIGERIANS MISSED OUT ON “ELON MONEY” TODAY BECAUSE OF A LIE. Word on the street said you MUST have a US Stripe account to qualify for Elon Musk’s ad revenue sharing on X. ❌ FALSE. And because of that misinformation, many Nigerians didn’t get paid. PAIN. 💔 While researching, I watched endless YouTube videos showing how to: • Create a fake US business name • Get a virtual US address • Pay for a US phone number • Open a US bank account It was looking like Yahoo Pro Max. I ran. 🏃🏾‍♂️💨 Let me save you the stress. Here’s the REAL way to monetize on X from Nigeria: 1. Subscribe to X Premium (Twitter Blue) and get verified. If it says “Not available in Nigeria”: • Use your laptop browser OR • Use a VPN on the mobile app I paid with my Nigerian Naira debit card. It worked. 2. After verification, log in on a LAPTOP (not phone). Go to: Monetization → Ad Revenue Sharing If eligible, you’ll see: ✔ Subscriptions ✔ Ad Revenue Sharing Click “Ad Revenue Sharing.” You’ll see: a) Create a Stripe account b) Link existing Stripe account Click CREATE. 3. Enter your: • Email • Nigerian phone number • Home address • Valid ID (Passport, Driver’s License, or National ID) Follow the prompts. FINAL STEP 🔥 Add your Nigerian bank details. ⚠ IMPORTANT: You MUST enter the correct SWIFT code for your bank. Call your bank or Google it. Add your account number. Submit. DONE. 💰 No US business. No fake address. No virtual number. No stress. Just you, your content, and your Nigerian bank account. BONUS: Enable 2FA on your Stripe for extra security. If this saved you from doing nonsense paperwork, repost it. Nigerians deserve to earn from their content too 🇳🇬 Let’s not let misinformation block our money again. 🚀 Hit the Notification Bell, Retweet and follow @Crypto_Diet to stay informed.

2011 My uncle imported thousands of DVD from China to be sold at 2,800 for short DVD and 3,000 for long ones. A competitor brought the same DVD and slashed price to 2,600 and 2,800. My uncle instructed us to stop selling. He ordered a branded sticker. The only word written on the sticker was 'BOLD'. We spent weeks branding the cartons. For example, if the DVD brand is Dickson, we will place the sticker in front of the Dickson and it'd read "DICKSON BOLD". Then he increased the price to 3,500 and 3,800. Everyone in the market started buying BOLD. Sometimes, value is perceived.

Let me tell you a very short story. Real Madrid sold Álvaro Morata to Juventus in 2014 for around €20 million. He thrived in Italy. Two years later, Madrid bought him back for €30 million using a buy-back clause they'd inserted in the original contract. Then, just one year after that, they flipped him to Chelsea for £60 million. Do the math. Real Madrid made a €30 million profit on a player they had already sold once. That's not super good business. And it's all because of one clause buried in a contract most fans never saw. Early on, we covered the fear clause, sell-on and add-on clauses. Now we're getting into the clauses that let clubs keep control even after a player leaves: options to buy, rights of first refusal, and buy-back clauses. These are the tools that separate smart clubs from the rest. BTW, you should absolutely read every word about the Right of First Refusal(ROFR). Let's go. Option to Buy This is usually tied to loans. It gives the borrowing club the right, but not the obligation, to make the transfer permanent. For Example, Mateo Kovačić joined Chelsea on loan from Real Madrid for the 2018-19 season with an option to buy for around €45 million. He performed well, Chelsea activated the option, and he became a permanent player. Do you get it? Yes, you do. But here's the twist: some "options" are disguised obligations. For example, the option that automatically becomes an obligation after 5 appearances. Suddenly, it's not optional at all. Lawyers read that differently. Legal Pitfall: The line between option and obligation gets blurred fast. Aston Villa currently has the same issue with Liverpool’s Harvey Elliot as his loan deal has an "option to buy for €55 million after 10 appearances."His minutes are currently being managed  and despite playing brilliantly, he has just 7 Apps for Villa. Livepool could be furious because they expected the deal to become permanent. But technically, Aston Villa haven’t breached anything. They just managed the situation. That's why some selling clubs insist on obligations with clearly defined, unavoidable triggers.  Another issue: unclear wording on who holds the option. Does the buying club decide unilaterally, or does the player have to agree to personal terms again? If the loan contract says "option to buy" but doesn't specify that the player has already pre-agreed to terms, the buying club might activate the option only to find the player refuses to sign. Then what? The clause needs to be explicit: "The buying club has the unilateral right to purchase the player for €12 million, and the player has pre-agreed to contract terms as per Annex A” or whatever part of the contract the terms are. Est-ce que c’est clair? Oui, c’est clair. On to the next. Right of First Refusal (ROFR) The right of first refusal (ROFR) is a clause in a football player's transfer deal that forces the current club (the one who bought him) to tell the previous club (who sold him) about any serious offer from another team. If another club wants to buy the player and makes a good offer, the current club must inform the original club first and give them the chance to match that exact offer. If the original club matches the offer, they can buy the player back instead of letting him go to the new team (though the player usually has the final say on where he wants to play). Sounds hazy right? I know. I will explain. But know that it's a way to maintain some control even after selling a player. Example: There are very few headline examples of this move, as clubs usually silently match the clause in private. But very recently, The ROFR clause was in Pablo Torre's transfer agreement from FC Barcelona to RCD Mallorca. It gives Barcelona priority to match any future offer if Mallorca decides to sell him. It pairs with Barcelona's buy-back optio and a 50% sell-on clause (entitling them to half of any future profit on resale). NB: ROFR is not the same as a buy-back clause. Big difference. One reacts to the market (ROFR), one fixes the price in advance (buy-back). The biggest issue with this is timing and enforceability. A ROFR sounds great in theory, but in practice, it can be a nightmare. Here's why: Assuming Liverpool makes a €15 million offer to Everton for a player. Everton notifies United, who has, say, 72 hours to match. But what if United doesn't have €15 million available in that window? What if they're in a transfer embargo? The ROFR becomes useless. And here's a sneaky one: sometimes the buying club (Everton) and the bidding club (Liverpool) collude to inflate the price artificially high, knowing United can't match it. The ROFR is technically honored, but it's been gamed. Unless the clause includes protections against bad faith dealing, it's vulnerable. So there you have it. We have discussed two very sneaky clauses today. We will talk about the Buy Back clause some other time. I hope you had a nice time reading. If you did, ensure you Follow and Repost.

On the 16th of December 25, I discovered a deadly evil being perpetuated by citizens against fellow citizens. In the course of this story, I'll make use of fictional names but real locations where they occured. On that Tuesday morning, Olamide, a 25 year old boy came back to his apartment in Rumuigbo with his Toks Lexus RX 350, which he bought the previous week, and was celebrating with everyone. He had picked up the car from Apapa, Lagos, where he went with a mechanic whom he met on FB marketplace and drove down to see his people in Delta before proceeding to PH on that day. The car had been in his possession for over 7 days before he came to PH. Let me give you a backstory on Olamide. He is an only son with 6 sisters and he is the 4th child. His father is in Quatar, working as a boat operator and his mother is a teacher in one of the government secondary schools in Delta state. Olamide is a waiter in one prominent place in Onne, hence the urge to get a car. His dad sent him the money for the car since the boy wasn't patient enough for one to be shipped to him. While we were celebrating, we heard gunshots outside the gate and almost immediately the gate flew wide open. Operatives of EFCC and NPF filled the compound and everyone was in panic mode. I sharply went inside and called the NAF base and Army barracks, sent my location and went outside. I was on pass so I had no official capacity to act, hence my silence. They told everyone to lie down, started rough handling everyone. Some started going door to door, pounding and shouting that everyone must come out. I tried talking to the one I sensed was the most senior and he shunned me. I didn't argue or drag. They checked their tablet and kept pointing at the car, "oga na the car be this. Tracker no dey lie." While they were at it, 4 vans filled with soldiers arrived, and 6 of them came into the compound. Upon seeing them, I got up immediately and told everyone on the floor to stand. We started asking questions, and they said the car belonged to a yahoo boy and it was seized by the EFCC. They claimed the car was missing from their lot and they have been tracking it for over 4 months, so I had Olamide describe the vendor's location and calls were made to Lagos, some soldiers and some members of the Lagos RRS stormed the place, picked up the seller and began interrogating him. That's where things went dark. The car seller has an active agreement with a handful from the EFCC. If a young guy buys a car, they install trackers and sell it to him, wait for some days and bust the guy, retrieve the car and arrest him while tagging him a yahoo boy. The car is then returned to the car dealer and the dealer gives EFCC their own share from the car sales proceeds. The mechanic is in on it also. After all these exposé, I realized that we have a very long way to go as a country. To the young men, do your research before you walk into any dealership to buy a car. Ask questions, swallow pride. That 24-48 hours of information gathering will save you a long time in prison.

Bro to Bro : Make I cast one update. If you want to collect your original Waec certificate from your school they will charge you 50k~ 90k but you fit get am for 5k ~ 8k •Visit : Waec.)org •Create an account •Input your details •Log in •Just follow the prompts... It's simple to get. Just have like 8k and either your BVN, international passport or NIN. • use Concord paper to Print it out That’s your original Certificate, no cast am !!

I maintain my position that most "Yahoo boys"** in Nigeria are not nearly as intelligent, sophisticated, or exceptionally skilled as they (and some observers) often claim. Like in many other societies grappling with widespread poverty, a significant number of Nigerians turn to crime driven primarily by hunger, desperation, and greed. motivations that are far from unique to this country. In contrast, cybercriminals from certain Asian countries, particularly India and China, frequently orchestrate far more elaborate, organized, and technically advanced international scams even against advanced and sophisticated governments and institutions. Many of these operations remain undetected or unprosecuted for extended periods, reflecting higher levels of coordination, technological sophistication, and sometimes institutional support or evasion tactics. What allows many Yahoo boys in Nigeria to evade justice for so long isn't superior cleverness or intelligence. Instead, it's largely because access to proper investigation, tracking and justice remains out of reach for the average victim. Scammers often mistake this systemic barrier for proof of their own brilliance. In reality, their flashy lifestyles, lavish spending, constant clout chasing on social media, and public displays of wealth create a trail of digital and physical evidence that makes them relatively easy to trace for anyone with adequate resources. Consider a practical example: Suppose a victim loses ₦200,000 to a scam executed through a middleman format on a platform like Jiji or Instagram. tracking a single phone number involved in the fraud to find information alone can cost nearly half of that amount. Add to that the costs of mobilizing law enforcement, and pursuing prosecution, and the total quickly exceeds what many ordinary Nigerians can afford. Even when victims report directly to agencies, sometimes they will reach out to us for tracking first as many of these officers are our clients progress is often slow or stalled due to resource constraints. It is a heavy risk and it does not make sense to spend over the amount you lost to find it, except in some cases where the victims could afford it and choose to seek justice whatever it takes. In essence, our current system is marked by high barriers to effective investigation and prosecution which effectively enables and perpetuates this form of scams. It isn't the scammers' exceptional genius keeping them ahead; it's the prohibitive cost and inaccessibility of justice for victims that allows so many to continue operating with relative impunity. Until the justice system becomes more accessible, efficient, and victim-friendly, this cycle is likely to persist regardless of how "smart" individual perpetrators believe themselves to be 😢.

Go to ChatGPT and use this prompt: Create a caricature of me and my job based on everything you know about me. Come back and share your photo: I'll go first.😂

Took a long position on the Naira. Will find out if I’m retarded in 365 days.

Someone that rushed to build unplanned 18 rooms duplex just so his sister won’t have to drag land with him 😂😂💔 Money na water where he dey

That is one decade ahead of his mates. There is no nobility in poverty.

Hey @Microsoft365 I DID excel