GarbageMomExtraordinaire

@Lincolns_Finger Stop giving him peroxide.

My asshole dog ate his monkey baby tonight. Which means I had to induce vomiting and now he is in full puke and rally mode and I’m about to open the door and let him just run for the hills.

@ss1997ss @NEO_Scan What’s wrong with you?

@NEO_Scan Ugh, protesting that another criminal is off the streets? What's wrong with those people 😕 🤦‍♂️

If I were you, I'd avoid the area of High and Exchange - and by the area, I mean all of Downtown / U of A area. The current protest marches are in full swing and increasing amounts of vehicle traffic going around the barriers set up by police to keep vehicles out of the crowd.

Hey, @WaltDisneyWorld, you should consider offering @disneyplus on resort TVs. I’m not suggesting free access to everyone, just have it available so families who already subscribe can watch @PixarTurningRed after a long day at the parks. #my6yearoldispissed

@JoshMandelOhio Pro-God, Pro-Gun, Pro-Trump. Ewwww. That’s it. That’s the entire Tweet.

Dear, @VanessaLachey . I need to know who made your dress for the Love Is Blind reunion. I think my sister would look AMAZING in it! #LOVEISBLINDreunion #LoveIsBlindseason2 #VanessaLachey

If there is one positive thing to come from being fat your entire life, I can confidently say that I am at no risk of being #tinderswindler ‘d. Believe that I will Goog the shit outta the tiny Italian man who wants all THIS.

@Lincolns_Finger I’m pretty much the hottest.

When I was 8 years old… WAY back in 1987, I thought my legs were too fat for leggings. I wanted to wear an oversized sweatshirt and leggings. I was told my body wasn’t “right.” I was EIGHT. @MaintenancePod #dietculture #momlife

@jvn 🍋 🍩 🍋 🍩 🍋 🍩. We’re the same, Girl! #didwejustbecomebestfriends #QueerEye6

@Lincolns_Finger Holy shit. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Had a (now unfriended friend) on Facebook comparing mask mandates/covid vaccines to domestic violence and I’m so tired of these people.

The @AlmondBreeze eggnog is delish! Is it as good as traditional eggnog… not quite. Will it make my insides feel like they’re revolting and leaving my body? Nope! It’s a win win. If dairy is your enemy, try it! #holidays #almondbreezeeggnog ##momlife

@Lincolns_Finger It was the same for me when I needed an MRI on my knee. My ortho’s suite is next door to imaging services.

13 needs an MRI asap for a knee injury. Insurance company is making me wait 10 days until he can get one. I hate it here.

@Lincolns_Finger Thankfully we’re past the puppy accidents, but we still have a a*hole dachshund who likes to poop in the house. This morning, Mike coming down the stairs “Annette pooped!” And????

@kaz2579 Ha! So annoying. They should start a club.

When your dog is peeing on the hardwood floor and your kids yell “mama, the dogs peeing” instead of, I don’t know, stopping him and taking him outside.

@GoldfishSwim Yay! My kids were at the Cleveland location this morning!

Things most men don’t think about: 1) Do any of my children have gym tomorrow? 2) Are their gym clothes clean? #momlife #dadlife #provemewrong

@Lincolns_Finger This is like season 4 Mickey Mouse Club. It’s different. 😕

No Rocky. No Chase. No Damon. No DeeDee? What is this?!??!

@BQRC23 @Alanis @jaggedmusical Everyone is feeling better, and the kids were back to school today… 😬 If Covid has taught me anything, it’s to accept disappointment.

@kaz2579 @Alanis @jaggedmusical Hope your family is feeling better now! It's so hard to miss these special events. It just adds insult to injury.

In 2045, when @Alanis tours for the 50th anniversary of @jaggedmusical (the Jagged Little Pill album), I WILL BE THERE. I will be 67 years old, and NOTHING will stop this grandma! #sosadimissedit #alanis2021 #momlife

@Lincolns_Finger Trust me. I don’t get it either!

@kaz2579 No!

Stop telling me to be attracted to Channing Tatum. It’s not going to happen.