kels | tortured lawyers department

If we start firing every Man who committed sexual harassment in the last 30 years, the workforce will be 95% female.

"Figure 03" AI-powered robot accompanies first lady Melania Trump to a White House summit on empowering children with educational technology.

Yes, this is real

BREAKING: I just signed the bill to extend postpartum coverage for Wisconsin moms from a lousy 60 days to one full year after giving birth. I promised I'd never stop fighting to make sure moms and babies had the postpartum care they need, and today, I delivered on that promise.

Pregnant women in Missouri, USA, finally have the right to divorce as of today. The year is 2026.

What’s the most boomer complaint you have?

TRUMP SAYS ON IRANIAN SLEEPER CELLS: THERE COULD BE MORE THAN 1,700

Vampires don't live in castles. Count Dracula lived in a castle because was a Count not a vampire.

🚨JAMES TALARICO: “Christ is the immigrant deported without due process. Christ is the senior deprived of their Social Security benefits. Christ is the protestor kidnapped in an unmarked vehicle by plain clothes officers.”

Democrat Texas Senate Nominee James Talarico: “I have met so many Hindus, Buddhists, Sikh, Jews, Muslims, Atheists, Agnostics who are more Christ-like than some of the Christians I served with in the Texas legislature.” All he does is insult Christians.

In honor of International Women’s Day, name your favorite quote by a woman.

I'm a Texan, and I don't eat any of this junk. I'm also not aware of anyone else who does—the closest I've ever heard of as a signature Texan breakfast is Texas toast, and even then, I don't know anyone who eats it. Texas is a big state, so it's easy to overgeneralize, but this? Tell me steak, BBQ, or Whataburger are Texan, and then I'll believe you.