Kerry

15 people in Jurassic park ride rn

Me at the Ken Carson show backstage: Me: “bro, Ken” Ken Carson: no response Me: broken

Never had a bad dream

When the generator turn off and the whole house is silent

Tried to fist bump a young Amish and she started crying

If I’m president everyone gets girlfriends

Your drinking poison l wherever you go Which poison are you drinking

Pu to my crib tonight we got hella second hand smoke

Should I make history tonight or go to sleep

Only hanging out with even numbers of ppl so no trios are stuffed on a narrow sidewalk

Someone broke my door in half

Feeding the homeless one cigarette at a time

My assistant told me this “stop ur twitter fingers ur going to get cancelled.” Fired her THAT DAY

Gay sucks dick.. but we have all been there. Made this guy in blender

Too young to turn into his father

Rock formations scare me because have you ever met a rock balancer?

I’m standing here, over the pool holding it in my hand and spraying onto Capones head as he swims backstroke. He’s burning up and I’m not stopping. Shame finally reaches my head as Capone struggles to breath. I stop and leave.

I loved that donut. Perfect glaze and I dipped it in milk and then took a lactaid because I’m lactose intolerant. Have to give it a 6/10

This cat has no idea

The with FOMO is that I don’t be MOing and then fail my math test