ryan

nooooo its not triggering at ALL that my appetite is completely gone and the smell of food makes me nauseous!!!!! no im fine!!!! definitely not gonna relapse !!!!!

finally back on ritalin again ..... but at what cost

nobody else is doing it like me rn

i shouldve started my shift 2 hours ago and i've been awake and aware the entire time i just forgot i have a job???? if i dont get my prescription soon im probably going to forget how to breathe and die

day 7 no ritalin and i forgot to go to work

@mousemunches huh,,,,, that makes sm more sense,, it felt like i was just rubbing a brick on my hair before

@mousemunches i tried using one of those and it felt like i was gonna rip all my hair out 😔

also "wow look how many calories are in this thing! i couldn't eat that much" and its the thing i have on my lunch break every single day

"how do you stay in shape working around AAAAAAALL this food? i'd be the size of a house if i worked here" its called 15 years of anorexia susan

working in a place that sells food when ur recovering from an ed is NOT for the weak

me bc i only know the bunny ears method and im incapable of learning how to tie laces the normal way

@purely_angelix yea we had to go to an isolation room in another part of the school, even if they let you leave the detention halfway through there still wasn't enough time to go to the lunch room or eat anything bc we only had 30 mins for lunch at my school 😭

i think lunchtime detentions shouldnt exist bc looking back at when i was in school i used to use them as an excuse to skip meals all the time, not to mention how unethical it is to force a child to go hungry at school when u dont know how well they're being fed at home

i just saw an ad for ""AI-powered washing machines"" MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!! GOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP PLEASE IM BEGGING!!!!! PUT AN END TO IT ALL!!!!!!!!!

seeing ed stuff here doesnt bother me and i dont find it triggering at all but i always see her eating rly high cal stuff and she's like bmi 16ish and its making me feel rly competitive

i followed one of my skinny irls on tiktok and she reposts tons of ed stuff hhhhhhhdhdhh!!!!!!! im so normal about this im going to shoot myself

@noctwt HAPPY BDAY CYN!!!!!!!! 🎉🎉

YAY

especially when a THIRD of children in my country are below the poverty line its actually making me mad omfg like how can teachers happily believe that a child communicating with a friend in class is worth punishing them with hunger

this is just a snack to me actually

im a lot happier with my body and my weight but it doesnt matter how many times i tell myself that i deserve to eat, i just cant get my brain to believe it?

so i feel like i can say ive physically recovered from my ed now, i'm fully weight restored and focusing on gaining muscle and i no longer have any disordered eating habits, but every single thing i eat makes me feel guilty and i just cant seem to get rid of the guilt