Francois El-Alfy

I think, like many, I’m done here.

Having a toddler is just beta testing a human

Jeez, I don’t like the guy either, but stop shooting at him and just go and vote. Way cheaper than bullets and probably a better aim if you want to hurt his manbaby ego complex. #trump #harris #vote

Three boarding cards and eight hours delay later I’m finally boarding a flight home. For three days. I hope that air traffic control idiot who spilled his coffee on his face-dick this morning in Seattle is happy, don’t tell me that’s not what caused it.

WTF has CyberSchmuck done to this app now? Did someone forget to put Elon down for his nap again? #XMarksTheNot

@seaninsound Can’t wait for Prince Andrew’s debut album

Pizza Express has started a record label Sort of love it when brands run labels like this Dishoom did some good compilations a few years ago and there are lots of other examples like Starbucks and Bicardi

@ChrisCatalyst 6/10. Some bleeding

It’s a tough wank

Time for the whole of America to sit down and watch hours of ads interrupted by occasional shit rugby. #SuperBowl

#santa better eat the pie this year. Merry Christmas from Brooklyn, folks

@UPS one claimed delivery not here and one ‘delivery attempted’ that wasn’t. I waited home all afternoon for you to ruin Christmas, did your driver just toss my packages somewhere?

Fuck @Apple and your AppleTV 40% price increase. You have one good show and I already watched it. #appletv #cancelled #pricehike

Probably shouldn’t have binge watched the whole of Lost before getting on my first flight for a year

Update on my finally watching Lost 20 years too late. This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. Why can’t I stop watching.

Every single person in Britain is now one place closer to the throne. Don’t say we don’t know how to queue patiently.

Don’t know why I waited 18 years, but I’m finally watching #lost. What glorious, bizarre trash. Amazing.

#Johnson really is like that drunk at the bar who refuses to leave after closing time, sat alone nursing his dregs. Go home, Boris, you’re embarrassing yourself.

Ahhh #BorisJohnson. Putting the Cunt in Country since 2019. Take a hint and bugger off, you disconnected, oafish, bigoted clown.

@RyanMendez Again?

I should probably learn how to play guitar again #riotfest

“Tech billionaire buys tech company he’s famously used and advocated for many years” Did I miss the twist somewhere? #ElonMuskBuyTwitter #ElonMusk

Speaking of terrible jokes, why didn’t anyone slap #WillSmith when he was making Gemini Man?