Gatimú

Working harder gets you more tasks. Changing companies gets you more zeros on the payslip.

@omwambaKE A few coins hit the account and suddenly they're giving TED Talks on why God doesn't exist. Poverty really was keeping some opinions on mute. 😂

"Mimi siamini kuna Mungu. Kila kitu niko nayo, magari, nyumba na watoto ni kwa uwezo wangu, sio wa Mungu. I have weighed all the options nikaona religion doesn’t make sense to me. Mimi najua tu nilizaliwa na mama yangu na baba yangu. Iyo mambo ya Mungu sitambui"~ Kenyan dancer, Tile Pacbro

My love language is silent affection. If you haven't heard from me in six months, just assume you're still on the VIP list.

Breakfast is proof that even broke people can experience luxury... if there are eggs in the house.

Good morning to everyone except alarm clocks. We still have unresolved issues.

Every morning I wake up motivated... then reality clocks in five minutes later.

I sleep late because my brain waits until midnight to start holding important meetings I never asked for.

@Muruz_ Or we never attend

@kingpinutd Thats why we attend family gatherings drunk as fk

0nce you hit a certain age without a spouse or kids, society starts acting like you've missed the last flight to adulthood. They'll remind you at every family gathering.

Living with your girlfriend teaches you one important lesson: there are only two ways to fold towels. Her way and the wrong way.

@7_KIBET With this, the furthest you'll climb is becoming Head of Floor Maintenance😂

Kasongo has discovered that employees also eat. 😂 15% salary increase this year and another 15% next year. Miracles do happen.

My barber knows more about my life than some relatives. At this point, if I switch barbers, it feels like cheating.

@Kenyans Obado jailed, Mandago acquitted.

Court Acquits Senator Jackson Mandago in Ksh1.1 Billion Uasin Gishu Scholarship Case

@omwambaKE Wasn't he the governor when the parents got scammed?

Senator Jackson Mandago has called on the Uasin Gishu County Government to take responsibility for the Finland scholarship programme and refund the affected parents after the court acquitted him in the case, saying it was a county programme.

Evening workouts are just me apologizing to my body for everything I ate before 4 p.m. We both know tomorrow I'll do it again.