Feminist retweetledi
Oof... it's been a while since I did one of these, but... guys, I need your help.
Tl;dr: I've been having panic attacks almost everyday for almost two weeks. A lot of awful stuff happening in my life that are stopping me from working, and I would really, really appreciate it if you guys could support me on patreon or leave donations on kofi, You can find the links on my profile.
Full story:
Life has been a huge mess for me for the longest of times now. But lately I've really reached rock bottom. A lot of stuff happened on my personal life, and I simply couldn't handle the pressure anymore. Having to be the sole provider for my mom who is 70 years old, and my 47 years old sister (she is almost 20 years older than me) who has fibromyalgia, the constant conflicts, my severe ADHD and the fact that I don't have anyone to share the weight of everything with... or, worse, the only person I thought I could count on abandoning me when I needed her the most... it's too much for me to handle.
I've been having panic attacks almost everyday for the past week and a half. I lost pretty much all the dexterity on my hands and fingers because almost every time I have a panic attack my hands and fingers lock up. I started the medication, but it leaves me very apathetic, to the point of staring at the wall for many minutes many times a day. My body is completely exhausted from the constant release of adrenaline and cortisol, everything hurts so bad and the fatigue is so severe I feel like I will never feel rested again. I have so many commissions to finish and I feel awful just thinking about having to make my clients wait even more than I already did, but I am just so done with life.
I am completely alone and lost. I don't even have the energy to feel desperate anymore. I don't have have anything left, and the only person who gave me strength to keep pushing just abandoned me the first time I really collapsed, all while I did everything in my power to help her with her owns crisis. I feel truly ashamed. I feel stupid, useless, and undeserving of love. I truly reached rock bottom.
Yet I don't really want to give up, so I am coming here now to ask for you guys' help.
At this rate, I can't work at all, so while I hate asking for help, and I don't feel like I deserve anything, I am still gonna ask for you. I'd usually try to offer something in return at least, but this time I can't promise anything. Not right now, at least. But I would appreciate if you could help.
You don't need to help if you can't afford it, think about your own well being first, ok? I am just an artist, and just one more person struggling in life. I am no more deserving of life or comfort than any of you, but if you ever enjoyed my work, and wouldn't mind enjoying it more in the future, even a single dollar helps.
Life is hard, man. Being alone sucks. Everything is painful, and there isn't a single moment of peace. I am truly, completely exhausted, like never before, but like I said, I don't want to give up. I want to keep hoping I will find any shred of happiness in the future.
And it make me happy if you could help me get me back on my feet for that.
I need to sleep right now, though. I am completely out of energy, so I might have a hard time replying to anyone, but don't take it personally. All I can promise is that I will try my best to reply.
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