If the world ends then I guess technically the president won’t be a pedophile anymore.
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Kyle Ayers
29K posts
Kyle Ayers
@kyleayers
Comedian from Conan @neverseenitshow @boastrattle show on Sirius XM, clips, album, and me active on better social media sites in links ⤵️
Los Angeles, CA Katılım Mart 2009
2K Takip Edilen17.4K Takipçiler
I feel like the Citizens United ruling is somehow tied to Oops All Berries
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They are emphasizing the "white guy who says the n-word" portion of Twain's career when giving out the award this year.
The New York Times@nytimes
Breaking News: Bill Maher, a critic of President Trump and political correctness, will be awarded the Kennedy Center’s Mark Twain Prize. nyti.ms/4suqn29
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Me, halfway through Uncut Gems: "Oh hey he's putting it together a bit he may make it out of this!"
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Watching Mizzou basketball makes me feel the same as watching Uncut Gems.
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Gotta start calling it the Federal Darwinism Agency
FactPost@factpostnews
The FDA has announced at least 7 people have contracted E. coli linked to cheddar cheese made from raw milk.
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@reynoldsgareth i just signed up today i'm so disappointed and i think i'm out $50
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Animated Short Film titles are always so whimsical compared to the movie’s themes. It’ll be like “Jimmy’s Bouncy Ball,” then that is a stop motion movie about dementia. #Oscars
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Kyle Ayers retweetledi
Will be funny if Bam Adebayo scores 61 points in his last ever game.
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Question for the Old Heads out there.
Whats something that was just flat out better 15-20 years ago?
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once a month or so there's a joke on here that makes it feel how twitter used to feel
Alice Mills@millsalice144
Americans sometimes use French words like "hors d'oeuvres." And that's just for starters.
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Every Super Bowl ad is “hey here’s quick shots of stuff you like anyways let this computer think for you”
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If I was a quarterback my presnap cadence would be me trying to get the defensive players with updawg.
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It’s crazy living in Los Angeles you’ll randomly see your freaking neighbor in a Super Bowl commercial
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Why don't all of these right-wingers complaining about "Olympic skiers using their platforms to speak out" simply also get good enough at something to have a platform?
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yeah man we all saw you get rejected from a pedo island party for being too weird
Elon Musk@elonmusk
Whoever said “money can’t buy happiness” really knew what they were talking about 😔
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Brantley Gilbert, Lee Brice, and Gabby Barrett all sound like people who flip houses by installing a giant wagon wheel on the wall as art.
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San Francisco I'm there for SF Sketchfest tomorrow doing my hour of jokes about life in chronic pain. Would love it if you made it out to this show full of dark jokes. Please tell your friends in the Bay Area. sfsketchfest2026.sched.com/event/2BQxP/ky…
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