totally kyle!

*exhausting

dr pepper daughter or mr pibb son?

“happy friday!” he says, unconvincingly

i have concepts of optimism

i knew i lived in a bubble but what the fuck

alright but let's see what linkedIn has to say about all this...

how does someone look at ted cruz and think "YES!"??????????????

To my Floridians and Texans:

florida you absolute piece of shit.

IF YOU'RE STILL DOOMSCROLLING, STAY ONLINE!!!

people who vote for trump based on immigration should not be allowed to eat or order food that comes with seasoning other than salt and pepper

it’s sunday night and I’m crying at nyc marathon TikToks like it’s my job (I love my job)

you go ghoul!!

here’s something people aren’t ready to hear: there’s actually not a bunch of mission impossibles, it’s just one big one

imagine dying on your way to the final destination premiere

last year got me addicted to my new favorite feelings. people underestimating the orlando magic.

just desperately tried and miserably failed to make the dmv employee like me

locksmiths have too much power

imagine meeting the love of your life and finding out they microwave their pizza bagels

add this RIGHT AFTER you post an instagram story and scare that one person you knew 6 years ago who just so happened to check your story. then delete it after a few mins

@HollyMara It’s better to guarantee the reaction so it’s ok if you do it

@kylekimball I think about doing this bit also don't want the person to think they already reacted and skip over it 😭

i can’t be the only one who reacts to their own jokes in text messages right!?